Updates from Lisa Bailey

You Don't Have to Make the Most of Every Season

Fri, 09 Oct 2026 12:00:00 -0400

Giving yourself grace when a season of life feels impossibly long

Fall has fully arrived in all its glory here in New Hampshire, and it’s beautiful. The leaves are bright reds, oranges, and yellows, our deck is covered with fallen leaves, pumpkins are everywhere, and the temperature is getting cooler.

While summer is definitely my favorite season (I love being warm), I truly love the seasons we have here.

There is something special about watching the world change around us.

The trees change color. The leaves fall. The days get shorter. Winter comes. Eventually the snow melts, the flowers begin to bloom, and summer returns.

Each season has its own beauty.

But I've also learned that appreciating the changing seasons of the year doesn't mean I appreciate every season of life.

Some seasons of life are hard. Really hard.

And sometimes they last a whole lot longer than we thought they would.

If you've ever lived through a New Hampshire winter, you know what I mean.

Moving Forward After Losing Your Spouse (part 9)

Fri, 02 Oct 2026 12:00:00 -0400

Building a New Life One Small Decision at a Time

How small decisions can help you move forward after loss

When Jon died, I couldn't imagine what my life was going to look like.

I couldn't imagine getting through the next week, much less the next seventeen years.

I didn't know how I was going to raise my kids without him. I didn't know how I was going to provide for them, manage our home, make all the decisions, or figure out what came next.

I certainly didn't know that someday I would move to a different state, build a new piano studio, make new friends, get married again, and watch my children grow into adults.

I couldn't see any of that.

And maybe that's one of the hardest things about losing your spouse. Your entire future changes in an instant, but you don't get a new map showing you where to go from there. You just have to start walking.

As I look back, I can see I didn't build a new life through one big decision.

I built it through hundreds of small decisions.

One day at a time.

One step at a time.

One decision at a time.

In the beginning, some of those decisions were very small.

Get out of bed.

Take a shower.

Make dinner.

Pay a bill.

Take care of the kids.

Go to church.

Answer the phone.

Accept someone's help.

There were days when those things didn't feel small at all.

Moving Forward After Losing Your Spouse (part 8)

Fri, 25 Sep 2026 12:00:00 -0400

Looking Back and Seeing God's Faithfulness

Finding God's Faithfulness After Loss

After Jon passed, I didn’t know how we were going to make it. There were so many questions running through my mind.

How am I going to be able to do this without Jon?

How can I raise my kids alone?

How am I going to be able to provide for my kids?

Am I going to have to get a job outside the home?

Will I still be able to homeschool, or will I have to put them in school?

Will I be able to stay in my house?

How am I going to manage the house and the cars on my own?

How can I help my kids process what has happened when I can barely hold things together?

This is just the tip of the iceberg. And if you’ve lost your spouse, you know the overwhelming questions that seem to be ever-present.

Even with all these questions, I knew God was faithful and that He would provide. But I didn’t know how. Sometimes the unknown caused anxiety and worry about the future. I wanted to know how everything was going to be taken care of, and I wanted to be able to control the outcome.

But that’s not how God works. He asks us to trust Him.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

Moving Forward After Losing Your Spouse (part 7)

Fri, 18 Sep 2026 12:00:00 -0400

Finding Joy Without Feeling Guilty

Is It Okay to Be Happy After Losing Your Spouse?

This is a difficult topic to talk about. There are so many opinions out there about what is acceptable for a widow after losing her husband. And it can be hard to do what you feel is right when the expectations don’t align with that.

It IS okay to be happy after losing your spouse.

I know that’s an easy statement to make and much harder to live out.

After Jon passed, I was so tired, so sad, and I missed him dreadfully. I couldn’t imagine being happy again. Sure, there were moments when someone told a funny joke, or my kids did something that made me smile, but the joy had diminished.

Grief is hard. It weighs you down, and sometimes you feel like you can’t breathe.

It starts with the shock and the thoughts of “this can’t be happening.” You kind of move through the motions, but everything seems like you’re in a dream.

Then the harsh reality starts to set in, and you realize he’s really gone. He’s never coming back. You have to do this alone.

Moving Forward After Losing Your Spouse (part 6)

Fri, 11 Sep 2026 12:00:00 -0400

Starting Over Doesn't Mean Starting From Scratch

Starting Over After Losing Your Spouse

Starting over.

Those words are sobering to anyone who has lost a spouse. It’s something that is pushed on you whether you want it or not. It’s not something you look forward to. It’s an added weight on top of the heavy grief you’re already experiencing.

There were so many ways I had to “start over” after Jon passed.

I became the sole provider.

I was now a single parent.

I had to run a household alone.

I had to keep up with the finances and bills.

I had to make all the decisions by myself.

I didn’t ask for all that responsibility, and I didn’t want it. I just wanted my husband back. It’s an unseen part of becoming a widow that no one realizes, and it compounds the grief you are already experiencing.

I was literally starting over with my life. And it was hard and felt so unfair.

I didn't understand why this was part of God's plan.

Moving Forward After Losing Your Spouse (part 5)

Fri, 04 Sep 2026 12:00:00 -0400

The People God Sends to Help Carry You

Accepting Help After the Loss of a Spouse

After Jon passed, I was so overwhelmed at the thought of doing life without him.

He was my person, my best friend, and we worked well together as a team. When he died, that was all gone.

I was suddenly alone.

All at once, decisions were solely mine that had once been shared. Responsibilities for things Jon used to handle were now mine. In the midst of fresh, intense grief and becoming a single parent, I now had responsibilities for things I had never imagined I would have to handle alone.

I had to get the oil changed in the cars.

Make sure the tires were safe for winter.

Mow the lawn.

Make sure the heating oil was filled.

Find someone to replace the shingles that blew off the roof.

Remember to change the smoke detector batteries.

Fill the water softener with salt.

Pay the bills.

The list went on and on.

Moving Forward After Losing Your Spouse (part 4)

Fri, 28 Aug 2026 12:00:00 -0400

Learning to Walk Again

How to Take the Next Step After Losing Your Husband

When I lost Jon, I not only lost my husband, my best friend, the father of my children, I also lost our future together. I lost our goals and dreams. I lost the man I was going to grow old with and retire with. I lost trips we wanted to take, projects for our house we were thinking about, and family moments we would never have. I lost watching him walk our daughter down the aisle, helping our son buy his first car, and having grandbabies together.

Losing a spouse is so much more than the loss of a person. It’s also a loss of everything that person meant in your life. You were a team working together for a purpose, and when that is suddenly gone, it feels like the rug has been pulled out from underneath your feet. You’ve lost your balance, and you have no idea how to get it back because the one who kept you balanced is now gone.

How are you supposed to recover from that?

How do you move forward when you can’t even figure out how to move at all?

How do you plan for a future when you can’t even figure out how to plan the next day?

Moving forward can feel impossible.

Moving Forward After Losing Your Spouse (part 3)

Fri, 21 Aug 2026 12:00:00 -0400

When It Feels Like God Is Silent

Where is God when you're grieving?

“Where is God when you're grieving?”

It's a question almost every widow asks at some point.

Sometimes we don't say it out loud because we're afraid of what it means.

If God feels silent, does that mean I don't have enough faith?

Maybe I haven't prayed enough.

Maybe I haven't read enough Scripture.

Maybe I haven't trusted Him enough.

Maybe if I just did more, He would finally show me what to do.

I've been there.

After Jon died, I went through some very dark valleys when it felt like God wasn't there.

I struggled with depression and anxiety for a long time. During this season, I was reading my Bible. I was praying. I was trying to understand what God was doing and trying desperately to trust Him in the middle of it.

But God seemed silent.

The God I loved and trusted wasn't showing me the way out.

It was the hardest season of my life.

And when you're hurting that deeply, it's easy to turn inward.

Why me?

Why did Jon have to die?

Why am I struggling so much?

When is this going to end?

I was still grieving deeply, and it felt like there was no relief in sight.

And then there was the spiritual guilt.

I felt like I should be trusting God more.

I should be doing better.

I should have more faith.

Moving Forward After Losing Your Spouse (Part 2)

Fri, 14 Aug 2026 12:00:00 -0400

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Why Grief Feels Like You're Going Backward

Losing my husband has been the most difficult experience of my life.

Just trying to process the reality of it was overwhelming. My mind knew Jon had died, but my heart didn't want to believe it. For a while, I lived in denial and tried to carry on like it hadn't happened.

But it had.

And eventually I had to face it.

As I began trying to figure out what life was going to look like without Jon, I felt like I kept running into a brick wall. We had been married for 11 years, and my life revolved around him, especially after he got sick. Suddenly, all of that was gone, and I felt completely lost.

There would be moments when the grief would ease, and I would start to feel like I was finally moving forward.

Then, out of nowhere, something would trigger it, and I would feel like I was right back to the day he died.

Moving Forward After Losing Your Spouse (part 1)

Fri, 07 Aug 2026 12:00:00 -0400

Moving Forward Isn't the Same as Moving On

Why healing after the loss of a spouse isn't about leaving them behind

Moving on.

It's one of the most common messages widows hear after losing their husbands.

Sometimes it's said outright.

"You need to move on."

Other times it's more subtle.

"It's been a year."

"Don't you think it's time?"

"He would want you to be happy."

The message is the same.

We're expected to grieve for a certain amount of time, and then life is supposed to return to "normal."

Spoiler alert: There will never be the same normal again.

When you've lost your husband, your life changes forever. Nothing about your world is the same. And while life does go on, it never goes back to what it was before.

If we're grieving outside of society's expectations, people often assume we're stuck. That we're dwelling on the past. That we're depressed. That we just need to "get over it."

The truth is, most people simply don't understand grief.