Updates from Lisa Bailey

What People Don't Understand About Widowhood (part 3)

Wed, 24 Jun 2026 10:27:40 CDT

Why Moving On Isn’t My Goal

Learning to carry grief instead of leaving it behind

One of the phrases I’ve never quite connected with after loss is the idea of “moving on.”

It sounds neat. Clean. Final.

As if grief is something you eventually walk away from, close the door on, and leave behind.

But that has never been my experience. And I truly don’t think that’s how healing works.

After Jon passed away, I remember feeling like I was supposed to reach a point where everything would eventually feel “finished.” Like there would be a day when I would wake up and no longer feel the weight of loss.

But what I’ve learned over time is that grief doesn’t work on a finish line.

It changes.

It softens.

It shifts.

But it doesn’t disappear.

For me, the goal has never been to move on from Jon. The goal has been to move forward with my life while still carrying the reality of his absence.

There is a big difference between those two things.

What People Don't Understand About Widowhood (part 2)

Wed, 17 Jun 2026 11:23:00 CDT

Missing Someone Isn’t the Same as Being Stuck in Grief

Why love and loss can coexist long after life moves forward

One of the things people often misunderstand about widowhood is the idea that if you still miss someone, you must not be “moving forward.”

I’ve heard versions of this over the years, sometimes spoken gently and sometimes just implied. The assumption is that healing means the absence of grief. That if you are doing well, functioning, rebuilding life, or even finding joy again, then the missing should disappear too.

But that’s not how grief works.

And it’s not how love works either.

Missing Jon today does not mean I am stuck in the past. It simply means he mattered deeply in my life. There is a difference between being stuck in grief and still carrying love for someone who is no longer here.

For me, grief has changed shape over the years. It is no longer the constant, heavy weight it once was in the early days. I am not living in survival mode anymore. I am not waking up every day trying to figure out how to get through the next hour.

What People Don't Understand About Widowhood (part 1)

Wed, 17 Jun 2026 11:08:00 CDT

Do You Ever Stop Being a Widow?

Why widowhood remains part of my story nearly 17 years later

This post is the first in a series called What People Don't Understand About Widowhood, where I'll be sharing some of the realities of grief, healing, faith, and rebuilding life after loss that people often don't see.

One of the questions people don't ask out loud, but often seem to wonder, is this:

At some point, do you stop being a widow?

After all, it's been nearly 17 years since Jon passed away.

My children are grown.

One has graduated from college, and the other is entering his senior year.

I've rebuilt a life I never expected to have.

And I've been happily remarried to Heath for over eight years.

From the outside, it might seem like widowhood belongs in my past.

But the answer is no.

I am still a widow.

And I am also a wife.

Both things are true.

When Jon died, widowhood felt like the only thing I could see. Everything in my life was divided into "before" and "after."

Practical Ways to Help a Widow After Loss

Wed, 10 Jun 2026 13:33:14 CDT

Simple, practical ways to support someone who is grieving without adding to their burden.

One of the questions I get asked occasionally is, “What’s the best way to help someone after they lose a spouse?”

Most people genuinely want to help. They care deeply and want to ease the pain somehow. But grief can be uncomfortable, and sometimes our desire to help is really about making ourselves feel better.

If you're helping someone who has experienced loss, don't do it to check a box. Don't do it because you feel obligated.

Give because you care.

Give because you see a need.

Give because you miss the person who died and want to honor their family.

As a widow, I can tell you that practical help often means more than people realize.

When my husband died, it wasn’t just losing him. It was the loss of everything he did.

Suddenly there was no one helping with the house, the yard, the finances, the car repairs, the decision making, or the countless little things that happened behind the scenes every day.

The weight of that can feel overwhelming.

Why Walking Became My Favorite Form of Exercise

Wed, 03 Jun 2026 12:21:00 CDT

A gentle, effective way to support your heart, mood, and overall wellness without a gym or complicated routine

Movement is one of the most important things we can do for our health, yet most of us spend our days sitting.

We sit to drive. We sit at work. We sit while scrolling our phones. We sit while watching television. Modern life has made movement optional, and our bodies are paying the price.

Not that long ago, people walked almost everywhere. Movement was simply part of daily life. Today, many of us have to intentionally make time to move because so much of our day is spent sitting.

I once heard the phrase, "We don't stop moving because we age. We age because we stop moving." There is a lot of truth in that. Lack of movement can speed up the loss of strength, energy, mobility, and overall health.

Why Grief Is So Exhausting

Wed, 27 May 2026 10:49:00 CDT

Understanding the deep fatigue that comes with losing a spouse

When I lost my husband unexpectedly, I felt like I was suddenly swimming upstream in a river of responsibilities I wasn’t prepared to face alone.

I wasn’t just grieving.

I was suddenly a single mother.

The sole decision maker.

The sole provider.

And the weight of that responsibility felt almost unbearable at times.

The exhaustion that came with grieving while trying to navigate life alone was unlike anything I had ever experienced.

Grief exhaustion is real.

And it’s not just “feeling tired.”

It’s a deep, bone-weary fatigue that affects you emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. It leaves you feeling foggy, drained, overwhelmed, and often unable to focus on even simple tasks.

Some days, just getting through the basics feels exhausting.

And when you’re grieving the loss of a spouse, there are so many layers contributing to that exhaustion.

How God Uses Grief to Refine Our Faith

Wed, 20 May 2026 10:55:00 CDT

Keeping your focus on Christ in the middle of difficult circumstances

One of the hardest parts about walking through grief is learning where to place your focus.

When difficult circumstances hit, it’s so easy to become consumed by them. The fear. The uncertainty. The overwhelm. The constant feeling like you can’t quite catch your breath.

And if I’m honest, this is something I still struggle with.

It’s easy for me to get caught up in everything happening around me and lose sight of Christ in the middle of it. Sometimes I focus so much on the fire itself that I forget what God may be doing through it.

Trust Your Decisions After Loss

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 10:37:00 CDT

Letting Go of the Need to Explain Your Choices to Others

I’ve always had a tendency to overexplain things.

Not because anyone necessarily asked, but because I felt like I needed to justify what I was doing. As if my decisions needed to make sense to everyone around me in order to be valid.

After Jon passed, that feeling got even stronger.

I found myself explaining things that, when I look back now, really didn’t need an explanation at all.

I explained why I was able to stay home with my kids.

I explained how I could afford to add an addition onto our house.

I explained why I stopped wearing my wedding ring after nine months.

I explained why I chose to keep homeschooling instead of putting my kids in school.

I explained why I moved from Maine to New Hampshire.

And later…

I explained when I started dating.

I explained when I got remarried.

No matter what I did, it seemed like there were opinions.

Some people thought I was moving forward too quickly.

Non-Toxic Spring Cleaning: Safer Products for a Healthier Home

Wed, 13 May 2026 10:54:02 CDT

Why choosing safer cleaning products matters more than ever for your family’s health

There’s something about spring that makes us want to throw open the windows and freshen everything up after a long winter.

The air feels lighter.

The trees begin to bud.

Flowers start blooming.

The world outside suddenly feels alive again.

And naturally, we want our homes to feel fresh and beautiful too.

For many of us, spring cleaning is part of that rhythm. We scrub the floors, wash the windows, deep clean the bathrooms, and reset our homes after months of being closed up for winter.

But what most people don’t realize is this:

Many conventional cleaning products are actually adding toxins into the very spaces we’re trying to make “clean.”

And over time, those chemicals can affect our health more than we think.

Why Saying Their Name Matters in Grief

Wed, 06 May 2026 15:06:00 CDT

Why widows need to hear their loved one’s name, and how it brings comfort, not pain

Right after Jon passed, people talked about him often.

They asked how I was doing.

They shared stories.

They brought up memories, things I hadn’t thought about, moments I hadn’t seen.

And I loved it.

I needed it.

I needed to hear his name.

I needed to know he mattered to other people too.

I needed to be reminded that he wasn’t just my loss, that he had impacted so many lives.

Talking about Jon helped me process what had happened. It kept his memory close, not just for me, but for my kids too.

But then, something shifted.