Remarriage Didn't Erase My First Marriage
Loving Again After Loss
One of the biggest misconceptions people have about widowhood is that remarriage somehow closes the chapter on grief.
As if finding love again erases the love that came before it.
As if saying "I do" a second time somehow means the loss no longer matters.
But that has not been my experience.
When Jon passed away, I never imagined I would get remarried someday and for a while I resisted the idea. In those early years, I was focused on raising my kids, surviving grief, and figuring out how to navigate a life I never planned.
The future felt uncertain enough without trying to imagine another relationship.
Years later, when I met Heath, I found myself walking into a new season of life that I hadn't expected.
A beautiful season.
A healing season.
A season filled with new memories, new traditions, and new joy.
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Why Moving On Isn’t My Goal
Learning to carry grief instead of leaving it behind
One of the phrases I’ve never quite connected with after loss is the idea of “moving on.”
It sounds neat. Clean. Final.
As if grief is something you eventually walk away from, close the door on, and leave behind.
But that has never been my experience. And I truly don’t think that’s how healing works.
After Jon passed away, I remember feeling like I was supposed to reach a point where everything would eventually feel “finished.” Like there would be a day when I would wake up and no longer feel the weight of loss.
But what I’ve learned over time is that grief doesn’t work on a finish line.
It changes.
It softens.
It shifts.
But it doesn’t disappear.
For me, the goal has never been to move on from Jon. The goal has been to move forward with my life while still carrying the reality of his absence.
There is a big difference between those two things.
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