Being a widow is a journey that I never anticipated I would experience. I don't know why God chose to put me on this path, but I do know that He has been with me every step of the way. I want to share some surprising things that I have discovered along the way, and if you are experiencing these things too, know you are not alone.
1. It won’t always feel this intense.
The shock of fresh grief can be incredibly heavy. It consumes your entire being. But it won’t always feel like this. I wish I could give you a timeline, but everyone’s grief journey is unique to them. But I can tell you that over time, the intensity will ease.
2. Grief sneaks up on you at unexpected times.
An anniversary, birthday, holiday can all be triggers for grief. But sometimes grief takes you by surprise - a smell, a commercial, a reflex to call your deceased spouse. Grief is not linear. It ebbs and flows and sometimes shows up out of the blue. This is completely normal, although I know it can be unanticipated.
Read more...On July 23rd, 2009, Jon went in for a straightforward procedure to look at a concerning spot in his lung. Unfortunately, the procedure didn’t go as planned, and there were unexpected, devastating complications. The next day, July 24, 2009, the day before our 11th anniversary, Jon passed away.
The shock of that moment was unlike anything I had ever experienced before or since. We had prayed so fervently for his healing, as had so many others, and this was not how I anticipated God was going to heal him.
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In Part One, I shared the shock that I went through when my husband passed. In Part Two, I shared how I was helped through the devastating shock. In this post, I want to give you some ways to navigate through the fog and difficulty of suddenly losing your spouse.
Shock can display itself in many ways. If you have lost a loved one unexpectedly and are grappling with the shock, here are some strategies that may help you cope.
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I am very blessed to have a supportive family and close friends who made sure I was taken care of before and after Jon passed. While nothing could take my grief away, having others around was a comfort.
My parents, who had been so supportive while Jon went through his battle with cancer, were right there with me in the hospital, helping me get answers from the doctors, praying with me, and crying with me. They helped me make phone calls to family, as Jon’s death was near. They stuck very close to my kids and I for several weeks. Their guidance was invaluable, as I had many decisions to make over those first few days and weeks, and they helped me wade through all of it. They made sure I got the rest I needed, food that I could tolerate until the nausea passed, and went to the funeral home with me to take care of the details of Jon’s burial and service.
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Losing a spouse is one of the hardest things anyone can experience. When I first lost my husband, my initial response to his death was shock. I experienced a variety of symptoms of shock that you may also be experiencing. This topic will be broken up into three blog posts. This first one is my experience with shock when I lost my husband, the second post is how I was helped by my friends and family, and the third is a few suggestions to help you cope with shock.
My husband passed away in a hospital after a straightforward procedure went wrong. When the doctor informed me what had happened during his surgery, I went into shock. My arms and legs went numb, and I collapsed on the hospital floor. A nurse put smelling salts under my nose, and I quickly revived but began to sob uncontrollably, as I realized the implications of what had happened. A kind nurse called my parents, so they could be there as quickly as possible.
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