There’s a misconception about widowhood that we need to “move on” after a certain time frame.
- Sometimes it’s something we tell ourselves. We put expectations on ourselves and feel like we should be at a certain point by a certain time.
- Sometimes there are unsaid expectations that are imposed on us by others through their actions and subtle hints that indicate that we should be past this point already.
- Sometimes we’re told, “Haven’t you grieved long enough? It’s time to move on”.
I have experienced all of these, and none of them are helpful.
Read more...As we continue to refocus our minds on Christ, lets look at the second and third way we can do that.
2. Cast
1 Peter 5:6-7 says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
After Jon passed, I struggled with anxiety. At times, it was hard to have a reasonable thought, and little things would cause my heart to race and my body to go into flight mode. Sleep was difficult because my mind would race, noises would startle me, and my heart pounded with worry. So many things put me on edge, and I was constantly worried about the future. It wasn’t until I cast my anxiety on the Lord, that I began to experience relief.
Read more...Our thought life has a big influence on how we respond to situations, it affects our feelings and emotional well-being, and impacts how we view our circumstances. We have thousands and thousands of thoughts each day, and many of them are negative. As a widow, I have found that in the intensity of grief, my thoughts tend towards despondency, leaving me feeling stuck, overwhelmed and inadequate.
It’s easy to look to books on grief, self-help and mindset, and while those are not bad in and of themselves and can be helpful at times, they can become a worldly replacement for where our focus really should be, and that is on Christ. He is the only one who can truly help us change our destructive thought patterns.
Read more...Did you know...
- Only 5% of widows in the US are under 40? I was 33 when I was widowed.
- Young widows often have small kids, and life is overwhelming. Grief often gets put on the back burner until it gets too big to ignore.
- Single parenting is different as a widow. You don’t get a break like you do in a two parent household or a divorce situation. You have to intentionally carve out time without your kids.
- Young widows need support, community, encouragement, and love. We feel like we don’t fit in anywhere.
I don't normally post more than once a week, but today is the anniversary of Jon's passing, so I thought it would be appropriate to reflect on the changes that have occurred over the years.
It’s been 15 years since Jon passed. SO much has happened in 15 years.
Read more...
