When I first became a widow, I never thought I would remarry. Falling in love and getting married again was something I was very opposed to. But God had other plans.
Shortly after Jon passed in July of 2009, Jillian, who was 7 at the time asked me, “Are we going to get a new Daddy?” I was completely surprised by this question and wasn’t sure how to respond. It had literally only been a few weeks since Jon passed, and I wasn’t ready to even begin to think about anything like that.
Of course, in her mind, it was the most logical thing in the world. It just made sense that a family had a mommy AND a daddy. So I told her the only thing I could, and that was for her to pray about it.
Read more...Being a widow is a journey that I never anticipated I would experience. I don't know why God chose to put me on this path, but I do know that He has been with me every step of the way. I want to share some surprising things that I have discovered along the way, and if you are experiencing these things too, know you are not alone.
1. It won’t always feel this intense.
The shock of fresh grief can be incredibly heavy. It consumes your entire being. But it won’t always feel like this. I wish I could give you a timeline, but everyone’s grief journey is unique to them. But I can tell you that over time, the intensity will ease.
2. Grief sneaks up on you at unexpected times.
An anniversary, birthday, holiday can all be triggers for grief. But sometimes grief takes you by surprise - a smell, a commercial, a reflex to call your deceased spouse. Grief is not linear. It ebbs and flows and sometimes shows up out of the blue. This is completely normal, although I know it can be unanticipated.
Read more...Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you had a blessed holiday with family, celebrating the birth of our Savior.
Christmas is my favorite holiday! I love the lights, the music, the food, getting together with family, and of course, gift giving (and receiving).
This week, I thought I would do something different and share a few of my favorite things about our celebrations this year.
1. Having my kids home for Christmas break! It's always wonderful to have everyone under the same roof again. They're both adults now, as they like to remind me, but they will always be my kiddos.
2. Our tree - we cut her down on Thanksgiving Day at Heath's parent's house. She’s perfect, and her name is Priscilla! We started naming our tree the year Jon died, and it’s been a tradition ever since. This year we named her Priscilla after my grandmother who passed away on Valentine’s Day.
Read more...There’s a misconception about widowhood that we need to “move on” after a certain time frame.
- Sometimes it’s something we tell ourselves. We put expectations on ourselves and feel like we should be at a certain point by a certain time.
- Sometimes there are unsaid expectations that are imposed on us by others through their actions and subtle hints that indicate that we should be past this point already.
- Sometimes we’re told, “Haven’t you grieved long enough? It’s time to move on”.
I have experienced all of these, and none of them are helpful.
Read more...As we continue to refocus our minds on Christ, lets look at the second and third way we can do that.
2. Cast
1 Peter 5:6-7 says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
After Jon passed, I struggled with anxiety. At times, it was hard to have a reasonable thought, and little things would cause my heart to race and my body to go into flight mode. Sleep was difficult because my mind would race, noises would startle me, and my heart pounded with worry. So many things put me on edge, and I was constantly worried about the future. It wasn’t until I cast my anxiety on the Lord, that I began to experience relief.
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