Homeschooling After Loss
Jon and I made the decision to homeschool early on in our parenting journey. It wasn’t something we stumbled into, it was something we felt deeply about.
We wanted to be intentional about what our kids were learning, not just academically, but spiritually.
We wanted to teach them Biblical truth and help shape their character in a way that aligned with our faith.
We wanted flexibility in our days.
Jon had worked with many public school students, and he saw firsthand the challenges they were facing. He was concerned about the influence of the world, and he often talked about the lack of practical life skills being taught. We wanted something different for our kids.
What we didn’t know at the time was how much of a gift homeschooling would become when everything changed.
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One of the hardest parts of sending my kids off to college—especially when they’re nearly 900 miles away—is not being able to be there for the little things. I can’t bring them home when life feels overwhelming, and I can’t drop by with soup when they’re sick. But over the past few years, I’ve found some practical ways to stay connected and care for them, even from a distance.
Here are a few things that have made a difference for us:
Handwritten notes and care packages. College students love mail! In an age of texts and emails, a letter in their mailbox is special. Care packages with snacks, small gifts, or even inside jokes always brightened my kids’ days.
Supplements for their health. Cafeteria food isn’t always the most nutritious. Making sure they had vitamins and supplements gave me peace of mind that they were supporting their health in the gaps.
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Back to school happened about a month ago for us. Many of you have already made this transition, and some of you may even be sending your child to college for the very first time. Since this is my fifth year of sending one or both of my kids to Cedarville University in Ohio—nearly 900 miles away—I thought I’d share what I’ve learned about supporting them from afar.
I won’t sugarcoat it: leaving them there was hard on my heart. I knew it was where God wanted them, but supporting them from nearly 900 miles away has been a learning curve. At times, I felt like I was failing—like I wasn’t doing enough or didn’t have the right answers for their hard questions. But God…those two words have carried me through. He is sufficient when I am not. He has provided for them in ways I could never have orchestrated myself.
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Discipline isn’t about being perfect. It’s not about stuffing your emotions down or pretending everything is okay.
It’s about choosing what matters even when it’s hard.
As a widow raising young children, there were certain disciplines I had to choose again and again — not because I always felt like it, but because I knew it was who I wanted to become and who I wanted my children to see me becoming.
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As I write this, we are getting ready for a trip that I always thought was so far off in the future, but here we are! Jillian is GRADUATING from college!!!
I mean, how is this even possible that we are at this point? Wasn’t it just yesterday we were diving into algebra in homeschool, and college was a distant dream? And now, somehow, she’s walking across a stage, ready to step into this next chapter. I find myself wondering, When did she grow up? How did we get here so fast?
As with many milestones, this one comes with a lot of BIG emotions. Joy, pride, excitement….and grief. This winter has been a hard season, and wrapped up in it has been the anticipation of Jillian graduating. I am deeply proud of Jillian—she has poured her heart into these years and grown into such an incredible young woman. And these big moments bring up grief and an intensity of missing Jon.
