When Christmas Feels Heavy
Christmas is a season of joy and celebration. We celebrate Christ’s miraculous birth to a world that desperately needed a Savior.In this season of gladness and festivity, it can be easy to feel depressed and lonely. You see the Christmas decorations and lights and just can’t gather up enough energy to put yours up. You want to be excited and cheerful, but it just feels so hard. Your heart just isn’t in it.
Grief may still be very fresh for you, and the happiness around you may feel impossible to muster. It can be easy for the weight of grief to make your spirit feel heavy, instead of hopeful.
Read more...“It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things you lack” (Germany Kent).
It’s easy to be thankful when things are going good or when a prayer is answered in the way you desired. Gratitude comes naturally when the sun is shining, the kids are obedient, and things seem to be going well.
But what about when you’ve begged God for healing, or a job, or wisdom in a situation, and the prayer goes unanswered. Or God chooses to answer differently than you expect - your spouse dies, you continue to be unemployed, or you’re at a loss to handle a difficult situation. What then? How can we be thankful for something that causes us pain or disappointment?
Read more...I also learned that trials do not define us.
The trial of losing my husband and losing my hope did not define me - I am His child; that is what defines me.
- Yes, I was a widow and single mom
- Yes, I was deep in grief
- But that is not my identity
- My identity is in Christ
Gal. 5:5 says, and I’m paraphrasing, “we eagerly await the hope of righteousness” when we are made into the image of Christ.
When there is conflict and struggle going on - cling to that hope. God promises that the struggle will not last forever. It will end. We can have hope that it is temporary.
I Cor. 15:19 - if we only have a human hope, we are to be pitied. If our hope is only in this life, then we’ve lost sight of our real reason for hope.
We are never without hope as believers!
Read more...In v. 3 Paul points out “we give thanks to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ”. Giving thanks is a foundational discipline in the believer’s life, and I had forgotten that. I had stopped giving thanks. I wasn’t choosing gratitude for what I had, instead I was in despair because I was focused on what I had lost, how hard things were, and all the difficulties I was experiencing.
That didn’t mean that my grief would suddenly disappear because I started being thankful. Gratitude and grief can exist together - God’s grace can handle both at the same time.
In v. 5 is where the word hope shows up, and the first glimmer of healing began.
As believers, we are thankful because of the hope we have in Christ. When we lose hope we become depressed and anxious, which is exactly what happened to me. But we have a secure hope in something that we can depend on, which is the hope of Heaven.
He went on to talk about Rom. 5:3-5 - where it say: “...we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
Read more...Through all of this, I continued to read my Bible, pray, and I was asking the Lord to deliver me from this intense grief and exhaustion, but it felt like God was so distant. I didn’t know how to close the gap.
I am not very good at opening up and sharing the deep struggles I am going through, especially with my family, but I was so desperate for help that I called my Dad a couple days after my dream. I told him about my dream and explained everything that had been going on and sobbed on the phone. It was like a dam that broke, as it all rushed out.
Dad, in his wisdom said that this was a heart issue, that I needed to give up my control over to God. I remember agreeing with everything he said, but I told him I didn’t know how to do that. He knew how much I had been struggling, even though I hadn’t shared a lot, and he and Mom invited the kids and I to come down and stay for a month or two, so I could get some rest and help.
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