For a long time, I believed I had to choose.
Grief or gratitude.
Brokenness or healing.
Fear or faith.
Love for my late husband or love for someone new.
But God has gently taught me something so powerful—it’s not always either/or. Sometimes, it’s both/and.
There is such freedom in the word AND.
I can grieve AND be grateful.
I can miss what was AND embrace what is.
I can love the life I had AND the life I have now.
I can walk in faith AND still feel fear.
Read more...As I write this, we are getting ready for a trip that I always thought was so far off in the future, but here we are! Jillian is GRADUATING from college!!!
I mean, how is this even possible that we are at this point? Wasn’t it just yesterday we were diving into algebra in homeschool, and college was a distant dream? And now, somehow, she’s walking across a stage, ready to step into this next chapter. I find myself wondering, When did she grow up? How did we get here so fast?
As with many milestones, this one comes with a lot of BIG emotions. Joy, pride, excitement….and grief. This winter has been a hard season, and wrapped up in it has been the anticipation of Jillian graduating. I am deeply proud of Jillian—she has poured her heart into these years and grown into such an incredible young woman. And these big moments bring up grief and an intensity of missing Jon.
Small habits have made a big difference in my life. Choosing to set small, measurable goals instead of big, lofty ones have helped me be more successful in bringing order and simplicity to my life. As a widow with young kids, this also helped keep me from feeling overwhelmed as I tried to navigate being a single Mom. I couldn’t even fathom trying to accomplish a big change, but little tweaks and creating systems around what I was already doing was sustainable and saved my sanity.
I didn’t start all of these small habits at once. They came about over many years as a need arose, a stress point became frustrating, or as I saw something I wanted to change or add into my routine. I didn’t realize how life-changing these small habits would be and how they would free up so much time and mental clutter.
Read more...“It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things you lack” (Germany Kent).
It’s easy to be thankful when things are going good or when a prayer is answered in the way you desired. Gratitude comes naturally when the sun is shining, the kids are obedient, and things seem to be going well.
But what about when you’ve begged God for healing, or a job, or wisdom in a situation, and the prayer goes unanswered. Or God chooses to answer differently than you expect - your spouse dies, you continue to be unemployed, or you’re at a loss to handle a difficult situation. What then? How can we be thankful for something that causes us pain or disappointment?
Read more...I also learned that trials do not define us.
The trial of losing my husband and losing my hope did not define me - I am His child; that is what defines me.
- Yes, I was a widow and single mom
- Yes, I was deep in grief
- But that is not my identity
- My identity is in Christ
Gal. 5:5 says, and I’m paraphrasing, “we eagerly await the hope of righteousness” when we are made into the image of Christ.
When there is conflict and struggle going on - cling to that hope. God promises that the struggle will not last forever. It will end. We can have hope that it is temporary.
I Cor. 15:19 - if we only have a human hope, we are to be pitied. If our hope is only in this life, then we’ve lost sight of our real reason for hope.
We are never without hope as believers!
Read more...
