Not all losses come at once. Some unfold slowly, and others only become clear much later. When Jon became sick and eventually passed away, I discovered layer after layer of loss I wasn’t prepared for.
Some of those losses happened gradually. As Jon’s cancer progressed, he wasn’t able to handle the responsibilities he once carried. Slowly, the things he took care of became mine to manage. Dinner around the table as a family grew less frequent as his appetite faded. The dreams we once talked about for our future—retirement, travel, growing old together—slipped away piece by piece. And as his illness worsened, my sense of direction vanished. My “map” for life had always included Jon, and when his journey ended, mine felt blank.
Other losses became painfully clear after he was gone. Jon was my safe place. I could share my fears, my struggles, and even my shortcomings without judgment. He knew me completely and loved me anyway. Without him, I felt exposed and unanchored. I also lost my encourager—the one who reminded me of what I was doing well, who cheered me on in motherhood, in faith, and in life. His words carried me through so many seasons, and their absence left a deep silence.
Read more...When a loved one dies, it’s easy to see what is lost. But the loss is so much bigger than just the person.
When my husband Jon passed away, I had no idea the magnitude of loss I was facing. Of course, I grieved losing him—but as the days and months went on, I realized there were so many other pieces of my life that disappeared with him.
One of the hardest parts was the loss of identity. Overnight, I went from being a wife to being a widow. I had also been Jon’s caregiver for 3 ½ years, a role I never expected to take on but one that became my full-time job. Suddenly, that role was gone, and I was left with empty hands and an aching heart, unsure of what to do with myself. I also became a single mom in an instant, carrying the weight of parenting alone while grieving at the same time. On top of that I had to adjust to losing my identity as a pastor’s wife. For years, that had shaped the way people saw me and my role in the church, and it took a long time to unravel and learn how to simply be a regular church member.
Read more...Week 2: Grateful for God’s Constant Care
When life falls apart, it’s easy to wonder if God is still paying attention. I’ve asked that more than once. In the silence of grief, in the overwhelm of parenting alone, in the fog of exhaustion—there were moments I questioned if He had forgotten me.
But looking back, I see His care written all over my story.
God’s unexpected provision always came at just the right time. He gave me strength to keep going when I thought I had nothing left. His peace settled over me during the many moments of uncertainty. These weren’t coincidences. They were reminders that God was still with me, holding me when I couldn’t hold myself.
Sometimes His care came in ways I didn’t recognize until later—a verse that stuck with me, a song on the radio, a friend who called out of the blue. Small reminders that I was not abandoned. I was seen. Loved. Carried.
Read more...After losing my husband to cancer, I began a journey towards wellness. As a single Mom, it became very important to me to stay well for my kids, and I wanted to do everything I could to help my family thrive.
For years, I thought being healthy was eating well and exercising. And while that’s a big piece of it, I didn’t realize that there were hidden chemicals in products I used every day that burdened our bodies and made health and healing difficult. I had no idea the damage that can be done to our wellbeing from everyday cleaners, makeup and even our hand soap. What I thought was freshening the air and cleaning my house was being absorbed into our bodies through our skin and lungs and causing interruptions to hormones and other important bodily functions.
Have you ever thought about what’s really in the products you use every day? I certainly hadn't. From the lotion you put on your skin to the candles you burn in your home, many common items contain toxins that can harm your health. Understanding what toxins are and how to avoid them can make a huge difference in your well-being.
Read more...Meal planning made such a difference in our finances when I was a single mom, and continues to as a family of four adults. It has eliminated much of the overwhelm that can come with needing to feed everyone, and we eat much healthier when there is a plan.
Here are some resources that I have found tremendously helpful in my meal planning journey.
DANIELLE WALKER COOKBOOKS - I love her cookbooks. All of her recipes that I have tried are delicious and healthy. She is a paleo cook, so each recipe is free of gluten, grains, dairy, legumes, and processed sugar (she uses maple syrup, coconut sugar and honey on occasion). I have never been disappointed in any of the recipes I have tried. I have 4 of her cookbooks, and I have linked my favorite one above. She is so gifted at creating delicious meals, and I know you’re going to love them!
These NOTEBOOKS are my go-to for my meal planning and grocery list. I am still old-school and prefer handwriting my lists. My grocery list goes on one page, and the meal plan is the following page, so I can keep it all together.
