There’s a misconception about widowhood that we need to “move on” after a certain time frame.
- Sometimes it’s something we tell ourselves. We put expectations on ourselves and feel like we should be at a certain point by a certain time.
- Sometimes there are unsaid expectations that are imposed on us by others through their actions and subtle hints that indicate that we should be past this point already.
- Sometimes we’re told, “Haven’t you grieved long enough? It’s time to move on”.
I have experienced all of these, and none of them are helpful. As a widow, I can tell you that we never “move on”. It’s just not possible. When you lose a spouse, it leaves a gaping hole that will never fully heal.
- We will grieve for longer than some find acceptable, and that’s ok.
- We might do well for a while, and then feel like we’re back into the thick of grief - that’s perfectly normal.
- We might move forward and embrace life again, but our loss will always be with us.
“Moving on” isn’t an expectation that should be put on you as a widow, and you should never put that expectation on yourself. Grief is a difficult, very personal journey, and until you’ve experienced it, you probably won’t fully understand.
We will move forward or sideways and sometimes backwards, but we will never “move on” from our loss.
If you have a widow in your life, please reach out to her. She needs to know you care, and that you’re there for her, no matter how long her journey takes.
If you are a widow, please know that I am here for you. I care, I understand, I am available to listen without judgement. I want to help in any way I can. Please leave me a comment if you are in need of support.
0 Comments