How Grief Affects the Body (and the Path to Healing) - Part 1

When Grief Lives in the Body

Grief is not just emotional.

It is physical.

It settles into muscles, disrupts sleep, alters digestion, tightens the chest, and exhausts the mind. For many of us, it shows up in ways we don’t immediately connect to loss.

Part of my life after losing my husband was navigating a wave of health challenges that, at first, felt unrelated to grief. But looking back, I can see the connection clearly.

In May of 2008, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, an autoimmune disease affecting the digestive tract. My doctor explained there is no known single cause for UC, but it often appears during or after prolonged stress.

That made sense.

By that point, my husband had just completed his second stem cell transplant for cancer. We had lived in crisis mode for nearly two and a half years — hospital stays, treatments, constant appointments, uncertainty hanging over everything.

My body had been bracing for impact for a long time.

That summer should have been a season of recovery. Instead, Jon’s mom was suddenly hospitalized several states away. We spent weeks traveling back and forth to visit her. Nine weeks later, she passed away.

It was an emotional rollercoaster of grief layered upon grief.

Less than a year later, Jon died.

And I never slowed down.

I didn’t know how.

For three and a half years, life had moved at an unsustainable pace. Adrenaline had carried me. Crisis had structured our days. When the treatments stopped and the busy-ness stopped, my nervous system didn’t know how to stand down.

So I stayed busy.

I homeschooled my young children.

Taught piano lessons.

Volunteered at church.

Chaperoned field trips.

Trained for 5Ks.

Tried new recipes.

Filled every quiet space.

None of those things were wrong. But they kept me from feeling the full weight of Jon’s absence.

My body, however, was keeping score.

Chronic stress keeps the body locked in fight-or-flight mode. Hormones shift. Digestion weakens. The immune system becomes dysregulated. Even if we look “functional” on the outside, internally the system is strained.

I was burning the candle at both ends.

Grief wasn’t just something I felt.

It was something my body was carrying.

If you’re walking through loss and noticing physical symptoms — digestive issues, sleep disruption, unexplained pain, anxiety, fatigue — you are not imagining it. Grief is whole-body trauma. And it deserves whole-person care.

At the time, I didn’t see the warning signs. I thought strength meant pushing through.

Eventually, my body would force me to stop.

(Part 2 will share what happened when it did.)

If you have been feeling a little off lately — low energy, brain fog, constant cravings, or just feeling depleted — I’d love to invite you to join me for a simple two-week reset. We’ll focus on simple daily rhythms that support your body and restore steady energy. Nothing extreme, just simple habits practiced consistently. If that sounds like something you need right now, I’d love to have you join us.

You can reach out to me in the comments, or by sending me a message on Facebook or Instagram.