How Grief Affects the Body (and the Path to Healing) - Part 2

When My Body Forced Me to Stop

Eventually, my body gave out.

My colitis flared severely. I stopped sleeping. Anxiety became a daily companion. My weight dropped because during flares my body couldn’t properly absorb nutrients, no matter how healthy I ate.

In 2012, unexplained hives appeared — head to toe. Angry. Persistent. Daily.

For three years.

At the time, I didn’t understand what was happening. In hindsight, I see it clearly: prolonged trauma, chronic stress, systemic inflammation, and postponed grief had overwhelmed my system.

My body was screaming what my heart had been suppressing.

Sleep became fractured. I would fall asleep quickly, only to wake around midnight or 1:00 a.m., wide awake. My mind would race in the dark. Fear felt louder at night.

I clung to 2 Timothy 1:7:

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

I knew I was living in fear. But I didn’t know how to turn it off.

Later that year, I was told my body was stuck in chronic fight-or-flight mode. My adrenals were depleted. I had been surviving on stress hormones for years, and my system simply couldn’t keep up.

When my chiropractor told me I needed to slow down and take a daily nap, I cried in his office.

Partly from relief.

Partly from fear.

I was afraid that if I slowed down, everything would fall apart. I had avoided naps because I was afraid I wouldn’t sleep at night.

But I wasn’t sleeping at night anyway.

I was exhausted — physically, emotionally, spiritually.

That was a crisis point.

I stepped back from the worship team. Resigned from homeschool co-op leadership. Started saying no. Started resting during the day.

And something surprising happened.

The naps actually helped me sleep better at night.

The margin gave me space to rest more frequently.

In early 2013, we moved to New Hampshire to be closer to family. That move created support, stability, and space — all things my nervous system desperately needed.

Gradually, my body began responding.

Not instantly.

Not dramatically.

But steadily.

What I didn’t realize yet was that physical rest was only part of the healing.

The deeper shift would require something even harder:

Letting go.

(Part 3 will share how surrender became the turning point in both my inflammation and my peace.)

If you have been feeling a little off lately — low energy, brain fog, constant cravings, or just feeling depleted — I’d love to invite you to join me for a simple two-week reset. We’ll focus on simple daily rhythms that support your body and restore steady energy. Nothing extreme, just simple habits practiced consistently. If that sounds like something you need right now, I’d love to have you join us.

You can reach out to me in the comments, or by sending me a message on Facebook or Instagram.