Why I Kept Homeschooling After Loss

Homeschooling After Loss

Jon and I made the decision to homeschool early on in our parenting journey. It wasn’t something we stumbled into, it was something we felt deeply about.

We wanted to be intentional about what our kids were learning, not just academically, but spiritually.

We wanted to teach them Biblical truth and help shape their character in a way that aligned with our faith.

We wanted flexibility in our days.

Jon had worked with many public school students, and he saw firsthand the challenges they were facing. He was concerned about the influence of the world, and he often talked about the lack of practical life skills being taught. We wanted something different for our kids.

What we didn’t know at the time was how much of a gift homeschooling would become when everything changed.

When Jon was diagnosed with cancer, homeschooling allowed us to live in a way that traditional school never would have.

We weren’t tied to a schedule.

We weren’t worried about attendance.

We weren’t trying to keep up with assignments while navigating hospital stays and treatments.

We could pack up and go.

There were times we needed to be in New Hampshire for extended hospital stays while we were still living in Maine. And because we were homeschooling, we could simply bring school with us. Jillian and Josiah were still very young, and those early years weren’t academically heavy. But they were still learning.

Looking back, I can see how God was already providing for us, even then.

When Jon passed away in 2009, my kids were just 4 and 6 years old.

And I remember dreading the thought of sending them to school.

Not after everything they had just walked through.

Not after three and a half years of sickness, uncertainty, and loss.

They needed to be home.

They needed space to process.

They needed to be together.

And honestly, so did I.

I didn’t know exactly how it was all going to work. But I knew, deep in my heart, that I wanted to keep homeschooling.

And almost immediately, God began to confirm that decision.

He provided for us in ways I couldn’t have orchestrated myself.

He made sure our basic needs were met through Social Security survivor benefits so I wouldn’t have to work outside the home.
He provided piano students, allowing me to earn income in a way that still kept me home with my kids.
He brought another homeschooling family into my life who showed me scholarships available specifically for widowed families, which helped cover the cost of curriculum.
And He grew a community of homeschooling families within our church, giving us the support and connection we so desperately needed.

It wasn’t something I had to force or figure out on my own.

God had already gone before me.

Homeschooling in those early years of grief wasn’t always easy.

There were hard days.

There were emotional days.

There were days when just getting through the basics was a struggle.

But there was also healing happening in the middle of it.

We had time together that we wouldn’t have had otherwise.

We could talk about Jon whenever we wanted to without making anyone else uncomfortable.

We had the flexibility to take breaks when we needed them and get back to work when we were ready.

And over time, those little, ordinary days added up.

And God abundantly blessed our homeschooling journey.

Jillian graduated from college this past May and Josiah is finishing his junior year at college.

I homeschooled them all the way through high school, and I wouldn’t trade those years for anything.

Not because it was perfect.

Not because it was easy.

But because we were together.

We built a life that allowed for connection, for growth, for practical skills, for memorizing scripture and learning truth from God’s Word, and for a rhythm that supported not just education, but their whole person.

If you’re a widow trying to make decisions for your family, whether it’s homeschooling or something else, I want to gently remind you:

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

You just have to take the next step.

God is already in the details you can’t see yet.

He is already making a way where you don’t know how things will come together.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” — Proverbs 3:5–6

Homeschooling after Jon passed wasn’t something I had planned. But it became one of the greatest gifts in one of the hardest seasons of my life.

And I’m so, so thankful we said yes to it.