Joy in the Manger
The Christmas story is often wrapped in words like joy, peace, and “good news.” We hear phrases like “Merry Christmas” and “joy to the world” everywhere — on cards, in songs, on store displays. But for someone walking through grief, joy can feel impossibly out of reach during the holidays.
And yet, when the angel appeared to the shepherds, he didn’t say,
“Good news of great joy — for those who feel happy.”
He said, “Good news of great joy that will be for all the people.” (Luke 2:10)
“Good news of great joy — for those who feel happy.”
He said, “Good news of great joy that will be for all the people.” (Luke 2:10)
Joy came for the grieving.
Joy came for the brokenhearted.
Joy came for those whose lives did not look the way they hoped.
Joy came for the brokenhearted.
Joy came for those whose lives did not look the way they hoped.
Joy came for you.
Because joy came in the person of Jesus.
Because joy came in the person of Jesus.
The angel went on to say,
“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” (Luke 2:11)
“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” (Luke 2:11)
A Savior — not just for our sins, but for our sorrows.
A Savior who knows grief, pain, betrayal, loneliness, and loss.
A Savior who stepped into our broken world, not to escape suffering, but to enter into it.
Read more...A Savior who knows grief, pain, betrayal, loneliness, and loss.
A Savior who stepped into our broken world, not to escape suffering, but to enter into it.
Joy is a theme woven all throughout Scripture. From the Old Testament to the New, God’s people are called to rejoice — in good times, in ordinary days, and even in seasons of deep suffering. We read verses like, “Be joyful always,” and, “Rejoice in the Lord,” and yet joy can feel impossibly distant when your world has been shattered.
Joy is hard when you’re grieving.
It doesn’t come naturally when the person you love is gone.
And choosing joy when your heart is breaking can feel almost contradictory.
It doesn’t come naturally when the person you love is gone.
And choosing joy when your heart is breaking can feel almost contradictory.
For a long time, I believed joy had to come after the grief — as if joy were the reward for finally healing enough. But Scripture paints a very different picture. Over and over again, we see people in the Bible choosing joy right in the midst of loss, uncertainty, and suffering.
David wrote, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)
He understood both the heaviness of sorrow and the promise that joy still had a place in his story.
Read more...He understood both the heaviness of sorrow and the promise that joy still had a place in his story.
When Thanksgiving Feels Heavy, Not Happy
Thanksgiving is on Thursday. This can be such a difficult holiday for so many. And perhaps you find yourself dreading it this year.
Maybe there’s an empty chair at the table that didn’t used to be there.
Perhaps the traditions you once held so tightly now feel unimportant.
Maybe instead of excitement and anticipation, you’re feeling sadness and dread.
Perhaps the traditions you once held so tightly now feel unimportant.
Maybe instead of excitement and anticipation, you’re feeling sadness and dread.
It’s okay if you aren’t looking forward to Thanksgiving. You don’t have to force gratitude that isn’t genuine. God isn’t disappointed in you for feeling the weight of your loss.
And maybe things need to be different this year.
When I was deep in grief during those first few holidays, it was hard to get into the spirit of the season. I missed Jon so much and felt like grief would always be heavy. It was easy to give in to despair and anger – and for a while, I did – but that only made the heaviness worse. Over time, I found I had to be intentional with my thoughts. Choosing to focus on Christ and His promises helped me notice the small blessings right in front of me. It didn’t take away the grief, but it helped refocus my heart so I wouldn’t stay trapped in isolation and bitterness.
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Gratitude Doesn't Cancel Grief
The first time I didn’t cry myself to sleep after my husband passed, I felt guilty.
Was I forgetting him?
Was I forgetting him?
When I found myself enjoying little blessings — a kind friend who showed up with a meal, the sand in my toes at the beach, or a song that brought comfort — I wondered if my grief was fading.
It sometimes felt like if I was happy or enjoying something, I wasn’t missing Jon enough. But that simply wasn’t true.
It took me a long time to realize that gratitude doesn’t erase grief. They can exist together. Both can be true.
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When Gratitude Feels Impossible
Grief is hard.
It’s heavy.
It’s an impossible burden to carry.
It’s heavy.
It’s an impossible burden to carry.
It feels like you’re always going to feel this way. You’re angry, sad, overwhelmed, and completely spent. There are endless questions — Why did this happen? Why do I have to feel this way? When will it stop? You can’t imagine ever moving through the grief to the other side. And part of you doesn’t even want to, because that might mean you’re forgetting.
Grief can feel intense, exhausting, and completely unfair.
I get it. I experienced all of this when my husband passed. Some days, the weight of it all made it nearly impossible to get out of bed. Other days brought a brief sense of relief — only to be followed by guilt because maybe I wasn't missing him enough.
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