grief

Gratitude Doesn't Cancel Grief

Gratitude Doesn't Cancel Grief

The first time I didn’t cry myself to sleep after my husband passed, I felt guilty.
Was I forgetting him?

When I found myself enjoying little blessings — a kind friend who showed up with a meal, the sand in my toes at the beach, or a song that brought comfort — I wondered if my grief was fading.

It sometimes felt like if I was happy or enjoying something, I wasn’t missing Jon enough. But that simply wasn’t true.

It took me a long time to realize that gratitude doesn’t erase grief. They can exist together. Both can be true.
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When Gratitude Feels Impossible

When Gratitude Feels Impossible
Grief is hard.
It’s heavy.
It’s an impossible burden to carry.

It feels like you’re always going to feel this way. You’re angry, sad, overwhelmed, and completely spent. There are endless questions — Why did this happen? Why do I have to feel this way? When will it stop? You can’t imagine ever moving through the grief to the other side. And part of you doesn’t even want to, because that might mean you’re forgetting.

Grief can feel intense, exhausting, and completely unfair.

I get it. I experienced all of this when my husband passed. Some days, the weight of it all made it nearly impossible to get out of bed. Other days brought a brief sense of relief — only to be followed by guilt because maybe I wasn't missing him enough.
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Rest for the Body, Healing for the Soul: How God Led Me to Simplify My Home (part 2)

Creating a Healing Environment at Home

Working through grief takes time, prayer, and grace. It also takes mental clarity—something that’s hard to find when our bodies are burdened by toxins.

Every day, we’re surrounded by chemicals that may seem harmless but quietly add to our toxic load: synthetic fragrances, harsh cleaners, and products that promise “freshness” but leave behind unseen residue. When our bodies are constantly working to detoxify, it can leave us drained—physically and emotionally.

I’ve learned firsthand that grief recovery isn’t just emotional or spiritual; it’s physical too. Our bodies carry the weight of our emotions, and when they’re overwhelmed, everything feels harder. But when we remove unnecessary toxins, we lighten that load. Suddenly, there’s more space for peace, energy, and hope to take root.
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Rest for the Body, Healing for the Soul: How God Led Me to Simplify My Home (part 1)

How Toxins Can Complicate Grief and Healing

Grief is already heavy. It drains our energy, fogs our thinking, and can leave us feeling like we’re moving through life in slow motion. But what if some of that heaviness isn’t just emotional? What if our bodies are also burdened by something physical—like the toxins in our home?

When we’re surrounded by harsh chemicals—cleaners, air fresheners, scented candles, personal care products—our bodies work overtime trying to process and eliminate them. Every spray, wipe, or wash adds to what’s called our toxic load. And for someone already walking through grief, that added burden can make healing even harder.

Our bodies and emotions are deeply connected. When our systems are overwhelmed, we can experience more fatigue, brain fog, irritability, sadness, and even physical pain. It can make grief feel heavier, depression more pronounced, and our energy almost nonexistent.
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When Loss Is More Than a Person: The Hidden Griefs of Losing a Spouse (part 2)

Not all losses come at once. Some unfold slowly, and others only become clear much later. When Jon became sick and eventually passed away, I discovered layer after layer of loss I wasn’t prepared for.

Some of those losses happened gradually. As Jon’s cancer progressed, he wasn’t able to handle the responsibilities he once carried. Slowly, the things he took care of became mine to manage. Dinner around the table as a family grew less frequent as his appetite faded. The dreams we once talked about for our future—retirement, travel, growing old together—slipped away piece by piece. And as his illness worsened, my sense of direction vanished. My “map” for life had always included Jon, and when his journey ended, mine felt blank.

Other losses became painfully clear after he was gone. Jon was my safe place. I could share my fears, my struggles, and even my shortcomings without judgment. He knew me completely and loved me anyway. Without him, I felt exposed and unanchored. I also lost my encourager—the one who reminded me of what I was doing well, who cheered me on in motherhood, in faith, and in life. His words carried me through so many seasons, and their absence left a deep silence.
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Meet Lisa Bailey

 
Life hands you things you don’t expect sometimes.  

When I was 33 years old, I lost my husband to cancer after a 3 ½ year battle.  At the time, I had two small kids and was trying to do it all - homeschooling, run a small business, single parenting, make everything from scratch, eat healthy and take care of myself. I was afraid of stopping. I was afraid of feeling.  I was afraid.

Eventually, my body crashed.  I was grieving deeply, struggling physically, dealing with anxiety, and I didn’t know how to move out of that place.  God orchestrated circumstances and placed people in my life to help me deal with these issues through counseling, moving, and starting fresh.  He opened the door and helped me heal both emotionally and physically, and placed resources in my life that have made a huge difference. 

I now feel better than I have in many years and have healed from many things. Grief still shows up, and I have to pull back and work through it, but because I am healthier, it doesn’t consume me. Restoration and healing didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen.

You don’t have to do this alone.  Let me walk this journey with you to hope and wellness.

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