Our thought life has a big influence on how we respond to situations, it affects our feelings and emotional well-being, and impacts how we view our circumstances. We have thousands and thousands of thoughts each day, and many of them are negative. As a widow, I have found that in the intensity of grief, my thoughts tend towards despondency, leaving me feeling stuck, overwhelmed and inadequate.
It’s easy to look to books on grief, self-help and mindset, and while those are not bad in and of themselves and can be helpful at times, they can become a worldly replacement for where our focus really should be, and that is on Christ. He is the only one who can truly help us change our destructive thought patterns.
Read more...Did you know...
- Only 5% of widows in the US are under 40? I was 33 when I was widowed.
- Young widows often have small kids, and life is overwhelming. Grief often gets put on the back burner until it gets too big to ignore.
- Single parenting is different as a widow. You don’t get a break like you do in a two parent household or a divorce situation. You have to intentionally carve out time without your kids.
- Young widows need support, community, encouragement, and love. We feel like we don’t fit in anywhere.
We are getting ready to send two kiddos to college at Cedarville University in Ohio. It’s hard to believe that we are at this point in our parenting journey, but we couldn’t be more excited for them. This is why we raise them - to go out into the world and thrive. Jon and I met at Cedarville and graduated from there in 1998, so it’s wonderful to have my kids go there too.
The last couple of weeks have been a flurry of Amazon orders, Walmart runs and checking things off our lists. Since we are in the throes of packing, I thought I would share some things that aren’t usually on a normal college supply list, but we have found them to be necessities.
Read more...Moving Forward as a Widow
Moving forward as a widow requires courage and intention. Here are a few ways to help you move forward in acceptance:
1. Acknowledge Your Journey: Recognize and honor the journey you've undertaken. Every tear, every moment of pain has brought you to this point of acceptance. It is a difficult road to travel, and it’s important to acknowledge the enormity of what you have gone through.
2. Prioritize Self-Care: This is one that I did not do well in my journey through grief until I was forced to. I had been burning the candle at both ends for too long, and it caught up to me. Be sure to listen to your body, rest when needed, exercise, spend time in nature and do things that fill your cup.
3. Seek Support: Engage in support groups or counseling. Sharing your journey with others who understand can provide comfort and a healthy outlook. Staying involved in my local church and getting one on one counseling was vital to my healing. It helped me gain perspective, understand unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors I was unaware of and change them, and see how the Lord had been working in my life, even through my overwhelm.
Read more...I don't normally post more than once a week, but today is the anniversary of Jon's passing, so I thought it would be appropriate to reflect on the changes that have occurred over the years.
It’s been 15 years since Jon passed. SO much has happened in 15 years.
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