Joy is a theme woven all throughout Scripture. From the Old Testament to the New, God’s people are called to rejoice — in good times, in ordinary days, and even in seasons of deep suffering. We read verses like, “Be joyful always,” and, “Rejoice in the Lord,” and yet joy can feel impossibly distant when your world has been shattered.
Joy is hard when you’re grieving.
It doesn’t come naturally when the person you love is gone.
And choosing joy when your heart is breaking can feel almost contradictory.
It doesn’t come naturally when the person you love is gone.
And choosing joy when your heart is breaking can feel almost contradictory.
For a long time, I believed joy had to come after the grief — as if joy were the reward for finally healing enough. But Scripture paints a very different picture. Over and over again, we see people in the Bible choosing joy right in the midst of loss, uncertainty, and suffering.
David wrote, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)
He understood both the heaviness of sorrow and the promise that joy still had a place in his story.
Read more...He understood both the heaviness of sorrow and the promise that joy still had a place in his story.
When Thanksgiving Feels Heavy, Not Happy
Thanksgiving is on Thursday. This can be such a difficult holiday for so many. And perhaps you find yourself dreading it this year.
Maybe there’s an empty chair at the table that didn’t used to be there.
Perhaps the traditions you once held so tightly now feel unimportant.
Maybe instead of excitement and anticipation, you’re feeling sadness and dread.
Perhaps the traditions you once held so tightly now feel unimportant.
Maybe instead of excitement and anticipation, you’re feeling sadness and dread.
It’s okay if you aren’t looking forward to Thanksgiving. You don’t have to force gratitude that isn’t genuine. God isn’t disappointed in you for feeling the weight of your loss.
And maybe things need to be different this year.
When I was deep in grief during those first few holidays, it was hard to get into the spirit of the season. I missed Jon so much and felt like grief would always be heavy. It was easy to give in to despair and anger – and for a while, I did – but that only made the heaviness worse. Over time, I found I had to be intentional with my thoughts. Choosing to focus on Christ and His promises helped me notice the small blessings right in front of me. It didn’t take away the grief, but it helped refocus my heart so I wouldn’t stay trapped in isolation and bitterness.
Read more...
Gratitude Doesn't Cancel Grief
The first time I didn’t cry myself to sleep after my husband passed, I felt guilty.
Was I forgetting him?
Was I forgetting him?
When I found myself enjoying little blessings — a kind friend who showed up with a meal, the sand in my toes at the beach, or a song that brought comfort — I wondered if my grief was fading.
It sometimes felt like if I was happy or enjoying something, I wasn’t missing Jon enough. But that simply wasn’t true.
It took me a long time to realize that gratitude doesn’t erase grief. They can exist together. Both can be true.
Read more...
Yesterday marked 16 years since Jon passed away.
Today would have been our 27th wedding anniversary.
And even now—after all this time—we still miss him. The ache of loss doesn’t vanish. It softens and shifts over time, but it never quite disappears. Especially not during weeks like this.
This week is always difficult. Grief is strange like that—sometimes it’s predictable, and sometimes it catches you off guard in the middle of an ordinary moment. An old photo. A song. A memory. Or just the quiet absence of someone who once filled every part of your life.
Read more...
For a long time, I believed I had to choose.
Grief or gratitude.
Brokenness or healing.
Fear or faith.
Love for my late husband or love for someone new.
But God has gently taught me something so powerful—it’s not always either/or. Sometimes, it’s both/and.
There is such freedom in the word AND.
I can grieve AND be grateful.
I can miss what was AND embrace what is.
I can love the life I had AND the life I have now.
I can walk in faith AND still feel fear.
Read more...