For a long time, I believed I had to choose.Grief or gratitude.
Brokenness or healing.
Fear or faith.
Love for my late husband or love for someone new.
But God has gently taught me something so powerful—it’s not always either/or. Sometimes, it’s both/and.
There is such freedom in the word AND.
I can grieve AND be grateful.
I can miss what was AND embrace what is.
I can love the life I had AND the life I have now.
I can walk in faith AND still feel fear.
"AND" gives us permission to shift. It allows space for both sorrow and joy to coexist. It reminds us that God is big enough to hold our whole story—every chapter, every contradiction, every complicated emotion.
As a remarried widow, I’ve learned this truth firsthand. I love my late husband deeply. I still cry for him sometimes. He was a good man. A godly man. And I also love the man I’m married to now—a gift I never expected in this chapter of my life. I used to feel guilty for that. I thought if I let joy in again, I was somehow betraying my past. But that was the lie of either/or.
The truth is, God is the author of redemption stories. He doesn't erase one chapter to write the next—He builds upon them. His grace makes room for all the ands.
Isaiah 61:3 says He gives us “a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” That doesn’t mean the ashes or mourning are forgotten—it means He transforms them. Both are part of the story.
So today, I want to remind you:
You can be exhausted AND still carry purpose.
You can feel broken AND be healing.
You can be strong for others AND still need support.
You can lead your children AND still need the Lord to carry you.
Let’s stop boxing ourselves in with either/or thinking. Life with Jesus is abundant. It’s layered. And sometimes, it’s messy. But it’s real. And it’s sacred.
What “AND” are you learning to embrace today?
You don’t have to choose.
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