Week 2: Grateful for God’s Constant Care
When life falls apart, it’s easy to wonder if God is still paying attention. I’ve asked that more than once. In the silence of grief, in the overwhelm of parenting alone, in the fog of exhaustion—there were moments I questioned if He had forgotten me.
But looking back, I see His care written all over my story.
God’s unexpected provision always came at just the right time. He gave me strength to keep going when I thought I had nothing left. His peace settled over me during the many moments of uncertainty. These weren’t coincidences. They were reminders that God was still with me, holding me when I couldn’t hold myself.
Sometimes His care came in ways I didn’t recognize until later—a verse that stuck with me, a song on the radio, a friend who called out of the blue. Small reminders that I was not abandoned. I was seen. Loved. Carried.
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Week 1: Choosing Gratitude in the Middle of the Mess
Sometimes I need to pause and remind myself: gratitude is not just for the good days. It’s not something we practice only when everything feels peaceful and easy. In fact, it’s often most powerful when life feels overwhelming—when it’s messy, heavy, and uncertain.
Lately, I’ve been feeling distracted and weighed down. The mental to-do list never ends, emotions hit at odd times, and grief still shows up, even after all these years. Sometimes it’s loud. Sometimes it’s just a dull ache that never really leaves. And when I’m in that place, gratitude is not my default response. I’m more likely to spiral into frustration or discouragement than pause and say, “Thank You, God.”
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Yesterday marked 16 years since Jon passed away.
Today would have been our 27th wedding anniversary.
And even now—after all this time—we still miss him. The ache of loss doesn’t vanish. It softens and shifts over time, but it never quite disappears. Especially not during weeks like this.
This week is always difficult. Grief is strange like that—sometimes it’s predictable, and sometimes it catches you off guard in the middle of an ordinary moment. An old photo. A song. A memory. Or just the quiet absence of someone who once filled every part of your life.
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Discipline isn’t about being perfect. It’s not about stuffing your emotions down or pretending everything is okay.
It’s about choosing what matters even when it’s hard.
As a widow raising young children, there were certain disciplines I had to choose again and again — not because I always felt like it, but because I knew it was who I wanted to become and who I wanted my children to see me becoming.
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She did it! Jillian officially graduated from Cedarville University with a Bachelor of Arts in English, emphasizing Creative Writing, along with minors in Bible and Biblical Care and Counseling. What an accomplishment! After four years of hard work, growth, and perseverance, she walked across that stage—and we were all there to witness it.
The weekend was a whirlwind. Between traveling from New Hampshire, finals, packing up two kids’ belongings, and all the graduation events, it felt like a blur. But even in the chaos, I could see God's hand at work in every detail.
Our brakes started failing while we were traveling through upstate New York—definitely not what you want on a long road trip. But God provided. We found a garage that could do the repairs quickly, and because Heath’s parents were driving separately, I was able to go ahead to Cedarville while Heath stayed behind with the car. Somehow, it all worked out.
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