Yesterday marked 16 years since Jon passed away.
Today would have been our 27th wedding anniversary.
And even now—after all this time—we still miss him. The ache of loss doesn’t vanish. It softens and shifts over time, but it never quite disappears. Especially not during weeks like this.
This week is always difficult. Grief is strange like that—sometimes it’s predictable, and sometimes it catches you off guard in the middle of an ordinary moment. An old photo. A song. A memory. Or just the quiet absence of someone who once filled every part of your life.
Read more...Discipline isn’t about being perfect. It’s not about stuffing your emotions down or pretending everything is okay.
It’s about choosing what matters even when it’s hard.
As a widow raising young children, there were certain disciplines I had to choose again and again — not because I always felt like it, but because I knew it was who I wanted to become and who I wanted my children to see me becoming.
Read more...She did it! Jillian officially graduated from Cedarville University with a Bachelor of Arts in English, emphasizing Creative Writing, along with minors in Bible and Biblical Care and Counseling. What an accomplishment! After four years of hard work, growth, and perseverance, she walked across that stage—and we were all there to witness it.
The weekend was a whirlwind. Between traveling from New Hampshire, finals, packing up two kids’ belongings, and all the graduation events, it felt like a blur. But even in the chaos, I could see God's hand at work in every detail.
Our brakes started failing while we were traveling through upstate New York—definitely not what you want on a long road trip. But God provided. We found a garage that could do the repairs quickly, and because Heath’s parents were driving separately, I was able to go ahead to Cedarville while Heath stayed behind with the car. Somehow, it all worked out.
Read more...For a long time, I believed I had to choose.
Grief or gratitude.
Brokenness or healing.
Fear or faith.
Love for my late husband or love for someone new.
But God has gently taught me something so powerful—it’s not always either/or. Sometimes, it’s both/and.
There is such freedom in the word AND.
I can grieve AND be grateful.
I can miss what was AND embrace what is.
I can love the life I had AND the life I have now.
I can walk in faith AND still feel fear.
Read more...As I write this, we are getting ready for a trip that I always thought was so far off in the future, but here we are! Jillian is GRADUATING from college!!!
I mean, how is this even possible that we are at this point? Wasn’t it just yesterday we were diving into algebra in homeschool, and college was a distant dream? And now, somehow, she’s walking across a stage, ready to step into this next chapter. I find myself wondering, When did she grow up? How did we get here so fast?
As with many milestones, this one comes with a lot of BIG emotions. Joy, pride, excitement….and grief. This winter has been a hard season, and wrapped up in it has been the anticipation of Jillian graduating. I am deeply proud of Jillian—she has poured her heart into these years and grown into such an incredible young woman. And these big moments bring up grief and an intensity of missing Jon.
