Our thought life has a big influence on how we respond to situations, it affects our feelings and emotional well-being, and impacts how we view our circumstances. We have thousands and thousands of thoughts each day, and many of them are negative. As a widow, I have found that in the intensity of grief, my thoughts tend towards despondency, leaving me feeling stuck, overwhelmed and inadequate.
It’s easy to look to books on grief, self-help and mindset, and while those are not bad in and of themselves and can be helpful at times, they can become a worldly replacement for where our focus really should be, and that is on Christ. He is the only one who can truly help us change our destructive thought patterns.
Read more...Did you know...
- Only 5% of widows in the US are under 40? I was 33 when I was widowed.
- Young widows often have small kids, and life is overwhelming. Grief often gets put on the back burner until it gets too big to ignore.
- Single parenting is different as a widow. You don’t get a break like you do in a two parent household or a divorce situation. You have to intentionally carve out time without your kids.
- Young widows need support, community, encouragement, and love. We feel like we don’t fit in anywhere.
Moving Forward as a Widow
Moving forward as a widow requires courage and intention. Here are a few ways to help you move forward in acceptance:
1. Acknowledge Your Journey: Recognize and honor the journey you've undertaken. Every tear, every moment of pain has brought you to this point of acceptance. It is a difficult road to travel, and it’s important to acknowledge the enormity of what you have gone through.
2. Prioritize Self-Care: This is one that I did not do well in my journey through grief until I was forced to. I had been burning the candle at both ends for too long, and it caught up to me. Be sure to listen to your body, rest when needed, exercise, spend time in nature and do things that fill your cup.
3. Seek Support: Engage in support groups or counseling. Sharing your journey with others who understand can provide comfort and a healthy outlook. Staying involved in my local church and getting one on one counseling was vital to my healing. It helped me gain perspective, understand unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors I was unaware of and change them, and see how the Lord had been working in my life, even through my overwhelm.
Read more...I don't normally post more than once a week, but today is the anniversary of Jon's passing, so I thought it would be appropriate to reflect on the changes that have occurred over the years.
It’s been 15 years since Jon passed. SO much has happened in 15 years.
Read more...The Benefits of Acceptance
Acceptance is a critical milestone in the grieving process. It allows for genuine healing to begin. By facing the reality of your loss, you open the door to emotional recovery. Acceptance also fosters resilience by helping you to adapt to your new life circumstances. This stage can bring a sense of peace and relief, freeing you from the heaviness of intense grief and denial. It enables you to cherish the loving memories of your spouse without being consumed by overwhelming sorrow.
In my life, I have noticed that the stages of grief come and go. They are intertwined, and sometimes I have found myself in more than one stage at the same time. Acceptance is a process. I believe I went in and out of acceptance and back into several of the other stages before finally fully settling in acceptance. There have been times when I have relapsed into an earlier stage due to a difficult life circumstance or a sudden loss that took me by surprise, and I would fall back into depression or anger. Difficult seasons have taken me right back to the trauma of the events surrounding my husband’s illness and death, and I feel like I am grieving all over again. But it doesn’t last, and I find that even though it is challenging to get through, acceptance is right around the corner.
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