For a long time, I believed I had to choose.
Grief or gratitude.
Brokenness or healing.
Fear or faith.
Love for my late husband or love for someone new.
But God has gently taught me something so powerful—it’s not always either/or. Sometimes, it’s both/and.
There is such freedom in the word AND.
I can grieve AND be grateful.
I can miss what was AND embrace what is.
I can love the life I had AND the life I have now.
I can walk in faith AND still feel fear.
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As I write this, we are getting ready for a trip that I always thought was so far off in the future, but here we are! Jillian is GRADUATING from college!!!
I mean, how is this even possible that we are at this point? Wasn’t it just yesterday we were diving into algebra in homeschool, and college was a distant dream? And now, somehow, she’s walking across a stage, ready to step into this next chapter. I find myself wondering, When did she grow up? How did we get here so fast?
As with many milestones, this one comes with a lot of BIG emotions. Joy, pride, excitement….and grief. This winter has been a hard season, and wrapped up in it has been the anticipation of Jillian graduating. I am deeply proud of Jillian—she has poured her heart into these years and grown into such an incredible young woman. And these big moments bring up grief and an intensity of missing Jon.
After losing my husband to cancer, I began a journey towards wellness. As a single Mom, it became very important to me to stay well for my kids, and I wanted to do everything I could to help my family thrive.
For years, I thought being healthy was eating well and exercising. And while that’s a big piece of it, I didn’t realize that there were hidden chemicals in products I used every day that burdened our bodies and made health and healing difficult. I had no idea the damage that can be done to our wellbeing from everyday cleaners, makeup and even our hand soap. What I thought was freshening the air and cleaning my house was being absorbed into our bodies through our skin and lungs and causing interruptions to hormones and other important bodily functions.
Have you ever thought about what’s really in the products you use every day? I certainly hadn't. From the lotion you put on your skin to the candles you burn in your home, many common items contain toxins that can harm your health. Understanding what toxins are and how to avoid them can make a huge difference in your well-being.
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Being a widow can be messy. Grief is unpredictable and shows up at unexpected times. In late February I had a particularly difficult week.
I took a quick trip to Maine by myself to attend a Celebration of Life for a dear man who had a profound influence in Jon’s life. Jeff was a Godly man that poured his heart and soul into discipleship, and Jon benefited greatly from his ministry. The last time I saw Jeff was in November, and he knew he would not be around much longer. His cancer had spread to his brain, and he was ready. His joy was contagious as he looked forward to Heaven. We had the opportunity to chat, and he said to me, with tears in his eyes, “I can’t wait to pray with Jon again.” We hugged, and that was the last time I saw him.
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Meal planning made such a difference in our finances when I was a single mom, and continues to as a family of four adults. It has eliminated much of the overwhelm that can come with needing to feed everyone, and we eat much healthier when there is a plan.
Here are some resources that I have found tremendously helpful in my meal planning journey.
DANIELLE WALKER COOKBOOKS - I love her cookbooks. All of her recipes that I have tried are delicious and healthy. She is a paleo cook, so each recipe is free of gluten, grains, dairy, legumes, and processed sugar (she uses maple syrup, coconut sugar and honey on occasion). I have never been disappointed in any of the recipes I have tried. I have 4 of her cookbooks, and I have linked my favorite one above. She is so gifted at creating delicious meals, and I know you’re going to love them!
These NOTEBOOKS are my go-to for my meal planning and grocery list. I am still old-school and prefer handwriting my lists. My grocery list goes on one page, and the meal plan is the following page, so I can keep it all together.
