Life can be overwhelming at times, especially around the holidays. There are expectations that we put on ourselves or others put on us, and it can be a lot.
Right after my husband passed away, I had to pull back from many things, as I didn’t have the capacity to handle very much. Life was overwhelming and exhausting, and we were in survival mode.
As time passed and the Lord has brought healing to my heart, I have added activities and events back in. But sometimes, I overestimate what I am able to do and truly enjoy. When I start feeling the stress build, and it begins affecting my heart and health, I know it’s time to step back.
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I am very blessed to have a supportive family and close friends who made sure I was taken care of before and after Jon passed. While nothing could take my grief away, having others around was a comfort.
My parents, who had been so supportive while Jon went through his battle with cancer, were right there with me in the hospital, helping me get answers from the doctors, praying with me, and crying with me. They helped me make phone calls to family, as Jon’s death was near. They stuck very close to my kids and I for several weeks. Their guidance was invaluable, as I had many decisions to make over those first few days and weeks, and they helped me wade through all of it. They made sure I got the rest I needed, food that I could tolerate until the nausea passed, and went to the funeral home with me to take care of the details of Jon’s burial and service.
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On July 23, 2009 Jon had a bronchoscopy that punctured his right lung – his good lung. The doctor intubated him immediately to give him a fighting chance. The doctors then realized his body had rejected the donor cells from his second transplant, resulting in graft vs. host disease, and that disease had caused his lungs to become very brittle and stiff, which was the cause of his cough and breathing challenges. There wasn't any treatment or cure for that, and there was no way we could have known. As the doctor was leading me to see Jon in the Critical Care Unit, I collapsed from the shock. I knew I was going to lose my husband.
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Welcome to my blog,
Life after Loss with Lisa
I am so glad you are here! I am a homeschooling, piano teaching, DIY-ing Mom of two young adults.
I lost my husband Jon in 2009 after a 3 ½ year battle with cancer. At the time, our kids were 4 and 6.
I used to think that widowhood had an expiration date. Like after a particular number of years, everything would be “back to normal”, or when a certain milestone was reached, it wouldn’t be a struggle anymore.
But I have realized that being a widow is a LIFELONG journey.
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