I am very blessed to have a supportive family and close friends who made sure I was taken care of before and after Jon passed. While nothing could take my grief away, having others around was a comfort.
My parents, who had been so supportive while Jon went through his battle with cancer, were right there with me in the hospital, helping me get answers from the doctors, praying with me, and crying with me. They helped me make phone calls to family, as Jon’s death was near. They stuck very close to my kids and I for several weeks. Their guidance was invaluable, as I had many decisions to make over those first few days and weeks, and they helped me wade through all of it. They made sure I got the rest I needed, food that I could tolerate until the nausea passed, and went to the funeral home with me to take care of the details of Jon’s burial and service.
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Losing a spouse is one of the hardest things anyone can experience. When I first lost my husband, my initial response to his death was shock. I experienced a variety of symptoms of shock that you may also be experiencing. This topic will be broken up into three blog posts. This first one is my experience with shock when I lost my husband, the second post is how I was helped by my friends and family, and the third is a few suggestions to help you cope with shock.
My husband passed away in a hospital after a straightforward procedure went wrong. When the doctor informed me what had happened during his surgery, I went into shock. My arms and legs went numb, and I collapsed on the hospital floor. A nurse put smelling salts under my nose, and I quickly revived but began to sob uncontrollably, as I realized the implications of what had happened. A kind nurse called my parents, so they could be there as quickly as possible.
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On July 23, 2009 Jon had a bronchoscopy that punctured his right lung – his good lung. The doctor intubated him immediately to give him a fighting chance. The doctors then realized his body had rejected the donor cells from his second transplant, resulting in graft vs. host disease, and that disease had caused his lungs to become very brittle and stiff, which was the cause of his cough and breathing challenges. There wasn't any treatment or cure for that, and there was no way we could have known. As the doctor was leading me to see Jon in the Critical Care Unit, I collapsed from the shock. I knew I was going to lose my husband.
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For those of you who are unfamiliar with how I became a widow, I wanted to provide some context. This is a very abbreviated version of everything that happened, but I will be filling in details in future posts. I will also be sharing some of Jon’s blog as well, so you can get to know what an amazing man he was. This is part 1 of 3.
Losing a husband is not something I ever thought would happen to me. When I said “till death do us part”, I didn’t realize that I would actually live this at a young age.
In 2005, my husband, who was 29, was diagnosed with cancer, and our world was turned upside down. I don’t think anyone ever plans on cancer, but when a 29 year old youth pastor, with two little kids receives that diagnosis, it’s completely unexpected.
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Welcome to my blog,
Life after Loss with Lisa
I am so glad you are here! I am a homeschooling, piano teaching, DIY-ing Mom of two young adults.
I lost my husband Jon in 2009 after a 3 ½ year battle with cancer. At the time, our kids were 4 and 6.
I used to think that widowhood had an expiration date. Like after a particular number of years, everything would be “back to normal”, or when a certain milestone was reached, it wouldn’t be a struggle anymore.
But I have realized that being a widow is a LIFELONG journey.
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