As time went on, I became exhausted and my physical and mental health began to suffer. I started struggling with anxiety over the smallest things. I would worry about the kids getting sick, I would worry about the smoke detectors chirping in the middle of the night because of a low battery, I would be anxious about not being able to sleep, which then caused me to not sleep. I would obsess about the future and fear all the “what ifs”, which deepened my anxiety.
My sleep continued to decline. I could fall asleep without an issue, but staying asleep was impossible. I often woke up at 1 or 2 am and was awake for the rest of the night over and over and over. My anxiety continued to increase, I fell deep into depression, and because I was so exhausted all the time, I had to eliminate some of the things I enjoyed doing. As I cut things from my schedule in order to have space to rest, I began to unintentionally isolate myself. I had no idea it was happening, but it added to my anxiety and depression.
Read more...Continuation of six tips that helps me navigate depression:
3. Stay Connected: Reach out to friends and family, even when it feels difficult. Continue or start going to church and let someone know how you’re struggling. Isolation can deepen depression, while connection fosters healing.
4. Set Small Goals: Celebrating small victories, like doing the dishes or eating a meal, can provide a sense of accomplishment and hope.
5. Find Meaning: Engage in activities that honor your loved one’s memory. This could be volunteering for a cause your loved one supported or creating a scrapbook of your memories. My daughter and I planted flowers at my late husband’s grave one summer, and it was not only a way to honor him, but it also helped her find a measure of comfort by doing something for Daddy.
Read more...As I stopped being so busy, I unintentionally began isolating myself, which only compounded my anxiety and depression. I felt like I shouldn’t still be struggling so much. It had been nearly 4 years since Jon passed, and I thought I would have been past this point. Those feelings contributed to my depression because I was putting expectations on myself instead of leaving those things in the Lord’s hands. The Lord finally got my attention and made it very clear that I needed to get some help. My kids and I moved in with my parents for a couple of months, and while there, I started getting counseling. During counseling, God showed me the unhealthy thought patterns and destructive behaviors I was holding on to, and slowly He helped me let go of those and deepened my trust in Him. He helped me release control of my life and leave it in His much more capable hands. During that time, God made it clear that we needed to move closer to family. We moved from Maine to New Hampshire into a little house just down the street from my folks, which was a big step in my healing journey.
Read more...The Dangers of Depression
While there are benefits to depression, prolonged depression can be dangerous. When it feels insurmountable, it can lead to a sense of hopelessness and even thoughts of self-harm. It can strain our physical health, leading to chronic fatigue, weakened immune systems, and other serious health implications. Depression can isolate us, causing us to withdraw from our support networks at a time when we need them most.
Depression was by far my longest stage in grief. During this stage I had a constant heaviness that didn’t lift for a long time. I had trouble staying asleep, I struggled with adrenal fatigue, my autoimmune disease flared up, and everything felt so much harder than usual. I missed Jon so much, and I was struggling with how to do life without him. I got stuck in my grief and had a difficult time moving forward.
Read more...As we continue this series on the stages of grief, we arrive at one that is often misunderstood in the grieving process, depression. Depression is one of those stages that can feel particularly heavy and dark. However, understanding depression, both its benefits and its dangers, can help you navigate this complex emotion more effectively and eventually move past it.
Understanding Depression
Depression in the grieving process is not merely feeling sad; it is a deep, pervasive sorrow that can make it difficult to function daily. It brings fatigue, changes in sleep and appetite, difficulty concentrating, and an overwhelming sense of despair. As someone who has walked this path, I can attest that depression during grief can be oppressive and burdensome, yet it is a necessary step to take in the healing journey.
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