The Dangers of Depression
While there are benefits to depression, prolonged depression can be dangerous. When it feels insurmountable, it can lead to a sense of hopelessness and even thoughts of self-harm. It can strain our physical health, leading to chronic fatigue, weakened immune systems, and other serious health implications. Depression can isolate us, causing us to withdraw from our support networks at a time when we need them most.
Depression was by far my longest stage in grief. During this stage I had a constant heaviness that didn’t lift for a long time. I had trouble staying asleep, I struggled with adrenal fatigue, my autoimmune disease flared up, and everything felt so much harder than usual. I missed Jon so much, and I was struggling with how to do life without him. I got stuck in my grief and had a difficult time moving forward. Some of what led to my difficulty in moving past depression was my busyness. Before Jon passed, we were so busy with appointments, surgeries, treatments and hospital stays, and then suddenly all that was gone. However, I didn’t slow down and let myself grieve. I stayed busy doing other things. They were good things, like serving at church, homeschooling my kids, gardening, exercising and many other things, but even good things can become harmful when they are being used as a way to avoid facing something. In my case, I didn’t want to truly face that Jon was gone.
It was during this time that I suddenly broke out in hives from head to toe. For 3 years, hives plagued me. I never found the trigger of the hives, but I am convinced they came about because of the tremendous stress and anxiety I was experiencing at the time. I was in a vicious cycle that continued to spiral downwards - my sleep got worse, which led to deeper depression and compounded my anxiety. I felt like I couldn’t get my head above water, and eventually I had to eliminate things from my schedule because my body was so fatigued.
Continued next week...
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