“It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things you lack” (Germany Kent).
It’s easy to be thankful when things are going good or when a prayer is answered in the way you desired. Gratitude comes naturally when the sun is shining, the kids are obedient, and things seem to be going well.
But what about when you’ve begged God for healing, or a job, or wisdom in a situation, and the prayer goes unanswered. Or God chooses to answer differently than you expect - your spouse dies, you continue to be unemployed, or you’re at a loss to handle a difficult situation. What then? How can we be thankful for something that causes us pain or disappointment?
Read more...I also learned that trials do not define us.
The trial of losing my husband and losing my hope did not define me - I am His child; that is what defines me.
- Yes, I was a widow and single mom
- Yes, I was deep in grief
- But that is not my identity
- My identity is in Christ
Gal. 5:5 says, and I’m paraphrasing, “we eagerly await the hope of righteousness” when we are made into the image of Christ.
When there is conflict and struggle going on - cling to that hope. God promises that the struggle will not last forever. It will end. We can have hope that it is temporary.
I Cor. 15:19 - if we only have a human hope, we are to be pitied. If our hope is only in this life, then we’ve lost sight of our real reason for hope.
We are never without hope as believers!
Read more...In v. 3 Paul points out “we give thanks to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ”. Giving thanks is a foundational discipline in the believer’s life, and I had forgotten that. I had stopped giving thanks. I wasn’t choosing gratitude for what I had, instead I was in despair because I was focused on what I had lost, how hard things were, and all the difficulties I was experiencing.
That didn’t mean that my grief would suddenly disappear because I started being thankful. Gratitude and grief can exist together - God’s grace can handle both at the same time.
In v. 5 is where the word hope shows up, and the first glimmer of healing began.
As believers, we are thankful because of the hope we have in Christ. When we lose hope we become depressed and anxious, which is exactly what happened to me. But we have a secure hope in something that we can depend on, which is the hope of Heaven.
He went on to talk about Rom. 5:3-5 - where it say: “...we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
Read more...We are getting ready to send two kiddos to college at Cedarville University in Ohio. It’s hard to believe that we are at this point in our parenting journey, but we couldn’t be more excited for them. This is why we raise them - to go out into the world and thrive. Jon and I met at Cedarville and graduated from there in 1998, so it’s wonderful to have my kids go there too.
The last couple of weeks have been a flurry of Amazon orders, Walmart runs and checking things off our lists. Since we are in the throes of packing, I thought I would share some things that aren’t usually on a normal college supply list, but we have found them to be necessities.
Read more...The Dangers of Bargaining
However, the dangers of lingering too long in the bargaining stage are real. If we become stuck in a cycle of "if only" and "what if," we risk delaying the healing process, potentially leading to feelings of guilt, prolonged sadness, and an inability to move forward. The endless negotiation with ourselves or God can anchor us to a moment in time that, no matter how much we wish it, we cannot return to or alter. We become stuck. It's crucial to recognize when bargaining is no longer serving a purpose but instead, holding us back from acceptance, peace, and healing.
One of the dangers that I experienced in this stage was a need to control things. This is pretty much a pattern throughout all the stages in my grief journey, and the Lord continues to work on my desire for control. I would try to control things in an effort to not experience the same thing again. For example, my question, “What if we had lived a healthier lifestyle?” became an obsession to keep things as healthy as possible to control the outcome of our future. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to live a healthier lifestyle, I became so focused on the outcome of my health and my kids’ health, that it was all I could think about and plan for. The future is in God’s hands, not mine. I need to be a good steward of the body He has given me, and help my kids be healthy, but not to the point of obsession.
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