Being a widow is a journey that I never anticipated I would experience. I don't know why God chose to put me on this path, but I do know that He has been with me every step of the way. I want to share some surprising things that I have discovered along the way, and if you are experiencing these things too, know you are not alone.
1. It won’t always feel this intense.
The shock of fresh grief can be incredibly heavy. It consumes your entire being. But it won’t always feel like this. I wish I could give you a timeline, but everyone’s grief journey is unique to them. But I can tell you that over time, the intensity will ease.
2. Grief sneaks up on you at unexpected times.
An anniversary, birthday, holiday can all be triggers for grief. But sometimes grief takes you by surprise - a smell, a commercial, a reflex to call your deceased spouse. Grief is not linear. It ebbs and flows and sometimes shows up out of the blue. This is completely normal, although I know it can be unanticipated.
Read more...Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you had a blessed holiday with family, celebrating the birth of our Savior.
Christmas is my favorite holiday! I love the lights, the music, the food, getting together with family, and of course, gift giving (and receiving).
This week, I thought I would do something different and share a few of my favorite things about our celebrations this year.
1. Having my kids home for Christmas break! It's always wonderful to have everyone under the same roof again. They're both adults now, as they like to remind me, but they will always be my kiddos.
2. Our tree - we cut her down on Thanksgiving Day at Heath's parent's house. She’s perfect, and her name is Priscilla! We started naming our tree the year Jon died, and it’s been a tradition ever since. This year we named her Priscilla after my grandmother who passed away on Valentine’s Day.
Read more...When Christmas Feels Heavy
Christmas is a season of joy and celebration. We celebrate Christ’s miraculous birth to a world that desperately needed a Savior.In this season of gladness and festivity, it can be easy to feel depressed and lonely. You see the Christmas decorations and lights and just can’t gather up enough energy to put yours up. You want to be excited and cheerful, but it just feels so hard. Your heart just isn’t in it.
Grief may still be very fresh for you, and the happiness around you may feel impossible to muster. It can be easy for the weight of grief to make your spirit feel heavy, instead of hopeful.
Read more...“It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things you lack” (Germany Kent).
It’s easy to be thankful when things are going good or when a prayer is answered in the way you desired. Gratitude comes naturally when the sun is shining, the kids are obedient, and things seem to be going well.
But what about when you’ve begged God for healing, or a job, or wisdom in a situation, and the prayer goes unanswered. Or God chooses to answer differently than you expect - your spouse dies, you continue to be unemployed, or you’re at a loss to handle a difficult situation. What then? How can we be thankful for something that causes us pain or disappointment?
Read more...I also learned that trials do not define us.
The trial of losing my husband and losing my hope did not define me - I am His child; that is what defines me.
- Yes, I was a widow and single mom
- Yes, I was deep in grief
- But that is not my identity
- My identity is in Christ
Gal. 5:5 says, and I’m paraphrasing, “we eagerly await the hope of righteousness” when we are made into the image of Christ.
When there is conflict and struggle going on - cling to that hope. God promises that the struggle will not last forever. It will end. We can have hope that it is temporary.
I Cor. 15:19 - if we only have a human hope, we are to be pitied. If our hope is only in this life, then we’ve lost sight of our real reason for hope.
We are never without hope as believers!
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