As a widow, grief is something with which I am very well acquainted. My journey has been up and down, in and out of each of the five stages of grief several times over. I might go through one stage and onto the next, only to backtrack to the previous one. At times I felt my grieving was coming to an end, only to find I was back at square one after a difficult season of life. It’s been messy and often confusing. One thing I have learned through it all is that it takes time. There’s no shortcut with grief.
I have been delaying writing a series on the topic of grief because I wanted to make sure I had enough information and said things the right way. But the Lord has reminded me why He wanted me to start this blog in the first place. It’s to share my story to help other widows, not to have the perfect words. So this series, along with the rest of the blog, will be flawed, but I pray it is beneficial.
Read more...“It’s okay to not be okay, but it’s not okay to give up.” - Unknown
This quote resonates deeply with me as a young widow. Society often misunderstands how to support and treat widows. There is a quickness to judge, and a rush to say “get over it”, or “it’s been long enough. Isn’t it time to move on?” This insensitivity makes it seem as if it’s not okay to not be okay, but the truth is, it IS okay.
No matter how long you’ve been on this grief journey, it’s important to remember that sadness and grief can sneak up on you at different points. You can feel like things are going well, and you are managing your emotions well, and then something will come out of the blue and wreck you. It’s okay. It’s completely normal.
Read more...Discovering joy through music has been a constant thread throughout my life. From the moment I first sat down at a piano, I knew I had found my passion. Over the years, music has provided solace, comfort, and a sense of purpose. And when tragedy struck and I found myself as a widow with young children, music became a comfort.
My first piano teacher nurtured my love for playing the piano. She was kind, patient and set high expectations that she knew I could meet. She encouraged me to play in church at a young age, which began a love for being a church pianist.
In high school, I joined the choir. My music teacher saw potential that I didn’t see and encouraged me to audition for the Chamber Singers, local and state competitions, and eventually colleges. He gave me the opportunity to accompany many of the choirs in our school, and my love for doing music every day multiplied. It was also during high school that I started teaching piano lessons, and found I loved it!
Read more...Budgeting is not always the most exciting topic, but it’s and imporant part of how I was able to make ends meet as a widow with young kids.
Having been budgeting for several years, I had a pretty good feel for it. But after Jon passed, I got out of the habit and struggled with motivation to continue. I was tired, sad and overwhelmed by life, and budgeting just seemed like one more thing. I had reduced our living expenses quite a bit and didn’t think I needed to account for every purchase.
Something Had to Change
I became aware of how important a monthly budget was several months into my journey as a widow. We were halfway through the month, and I only had $50 left for the month to buy food, and the fridge was looking bare. While my kids were only 5 and 7, they had healthy appetites. I couldn’t continue to leave it to chance. I needed to make a change.
Read more...In this third blog post of my financial journey as a young widow, I want to share one of the best pieces of advice I received when Jon and I were anticipating getting married. Our mentors at the time said, “Get life insurance. No matter how tight the budget is, make it a priority. Life can change in an instant, and you want to be prepared as much as possible.”
I had no idea that the advice given to two young college students would have such an impact on our lives.
Life Insurance
Jon and I got life insurance a few years after we were married, shortly after our first child was born, and since we were young and healthy, it was pretty inexpensive. Some months it seemed like a chore to continue to pay it, but we remembered the advice we were given and kept our policies.
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