Week 4: Grateful in the Hard, Because God Doesn’t Waste Pain
Gratitude isn’t always a natural response to hardship. It’s easier to be thankful when life is peaceful, predictable, and full of blessings we can clearly see. But in the middle of suffering—when the future feels foggy and the weight of grief is heavy—it’s a lot harder to find reasons to be grateful.
And yet, looking back, some of my deepest growth has come from those hardest seasons.
Grief, illness, and the long road of single parenting after loss have shaped me in ways I never expected. They’ve brought me to the end of myself again and again—and led me straight into God’s presence. I’ve seen His comfort in new ways, learned to depend on Him more fully, and discovered a deeper compassion for others who are hurting.
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Week 3: Grateful for the People God Placed Around Me
I don’t know how I would have made it through those early days of grief without the people God placed around me.
Some were close friends who knew exactly what to say—and what not to say. Some were quiet helpers who brought meals or folded laundry without expecting anything in return. Others prayed from a distance or sent a simple text that said, “I’m thinking of you today.” Each one was a lifeline.
Grief has a way of making you feel isolated, even when you're surrounded by people. But God, in His kindness, kept sending people who reminded me I wasn’t alone. Sometimes it was a listening ear. Sometimes it was someone just sitting with me in silence. Sometimes it was someone taking my kids, so I could have some time to myself. These simple, beautiful acts were deeply healing.
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Week 1: Choosing Gratitude in the Middle of the Mess
Sometimes I need to pause and remind myself: gratitude is not just for the good days. It’s not something we practice only when everything feels peaceful and easy. In fact, it’s often most powerful when life feels overwhelming—when it’s messy, heavy, and uncertain.
Lately, I’ve been feeling distracted and weighed down. The mental to-do list never ends, emotions hit at odd times, and grief still shows up, even after all these years. Sometimes it’s loud. Sometimes it’s just a dull ache that never really leaves. And when I’m in that place, gratitude is not my default response. I’m more likely to spiral into frustration or discouragement than pause and say, “Thank You, God.”
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Yesterday marked 16 years since Jon passed away.
Today would have been our 27th wedding anniversary.
And even now—after all this time—we still miss him. The ache of loss doesn’t vanish. It softens and shifts over time, but it never quite disappears. Especially not during weeks like this.
This week is always difficult. Grief is strange like that—sometimes it’s predictable, and sometimes it catches you off guard in the middle of an ordinary moment. An old photo. A song. A memory. Or just the quiet absence of someone who once filled every part of your life.
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For a long time, I believed I had to choose.
Grief or gratitude.
Brokenness or healing.
Fear or faith.
Love for my late husband or love for someone new.
But God has gently taught me something so powerful—it’s not always either/or. Sometimes, it’s both/and.
There is such freedom in the word AND.
I can grieve AND be grateful.
I can miss what was AND embrace what is.
I can love the life I had AND the life I have now.
I can walk in faith AND still feel fear.
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