Losing a spouse is one of the hardest things anyone can experience. When I first lost my husband, my initial response to his death was shock. I experienced a variety of symptoms of shock that you may also be experiencing. This topic will be broken up into three blog posts. This first one is my experience with shock when I lost my husband, the second post is how I was helped by my friends and family, and the third is a few suggestions to help you cope with shock.
My husband passed away in a hospital after a straightforward procedure went wrong. When the doctor informed me what had happened during his surgery, I went into shock. My arms and legs went numb, and I collapsed on the hospital floor. A nurse put smelling salts under my nose, and I quickly revived but began to sob uncontrollably, as I realized the implications of what had happened. A kind nurse called my parents, so they could be there as quickly as possible.
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In the midst of losing a spouse, it's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of emotions and responsibilities. As a single parent, the pressure to fill both parental roles can be overwhelming. But through my own journey, I discovered three valuable lessons that I wish I had learned earlier. These lessons have not only helped me navigate the challenges of being a single parent, but have also taught me the importance of self-care and the power of allowing myself time to grieve. So, if you find yourself in a similar situation, here are three lessons that I hope will bring you comfort and guidance.
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I am a firm believer in removing toxins from my body products, cleaning products and environment as much as possible and also being frugal with my money. I am an avid DIY-er and am constantly on the prowl for hacks and recipes for all things skin care and cleaning related. I hadn't done much of this prior to Jon's passing, but I found a need to be very careful with my finances in my new stage of life. What started as a need to trim expenses became a love of creating useful things that support our wellness. This post isn’t so much a DIY as it is a hack.
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On July 23, 2009 Jon had a bronchoscopy that punctured his right lung – his good lung. The doctor intubated him immediately to give him a fighting chance. The doctors then realized his body had rejected the donor cells from his second transplant, resulting in graft vs. host disease, and that disease had caused his lungs to become very brittle and stiff, which was the cause of his cough and breathing challenges. There wasn't any treatment or cure for that, and there was no way we could have known. As the doctor was leading me to see Jon in the Critical Care Unit, I collapsed from the shock. I knew I was going to lose my husband.
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For those of you who are unfamiliar with how I became a widow, I wanted to provide some context. This is a very abbreviated version of everything that happened, but I will be filling in details in future posts. I will also be sharing some of Jon’s blog as well, so you can get to know what an amazing man he was. This is part 1 of 3.
Losing a husband is not something I ever thought would happen to me. When I said “till death do us part”, I didn’t realize that I would actually live this at a young age.
In 2005, my husband, who was 29, was diagnosed with cancer, and our world was turned upside down. I don’t think anyone ever plans on cancer, but when a 29 year old youth pastor, with two little kids receives that diagnosis, it’s completely unexpected.
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