As I stopped being so busy, I unintentionally began isolating myself, which only compounded my anxiety and depression. I felt like I shouldn’t still be struggling so much. It had been nearly 4 years since Jon passed, and I thought I would have been past this point. Those feelings contributed to my depression because I was putting expectations on myself instead of leaving those things in the Lord’s hands. The Lord finally got my attention and made it very clear that I needed to get some help. My kids and I moved in with my parents for a couple of months, and while there, I started getting counseling. During counseling, God showed me the unhealthy thought patterns and destructive behaviors I was holding on to, and slowly He helped me let go of those and deepened my trust in Him. He helped me release control of my life and leave it in His much more capable hands. During that time, God made it clear that we needed to move closer to family. We moved from Maine to New Hampshire into a little house just down the street from my folks, which was a big step in my healing journey.
Read more...As we continue this series on the stages of grief, we arrive at one that is often misunderstood in the grieving process, depression. Depression is one of those stages that can feel particularly heavy and dark. However, understanding depression, both its benefits and its dangers, can help you navigate this complex emotion more effectively and eventually move past it.
Understanding Depression
Depression in the grieving process is not merely feeling sad; it is a deep, pervasive sorrow that can make it difficult to function daily. It brings fatigue, changes in sleep and appetite, difficulty concentrating, and an overwhelming sense of despair. As someone who has walked this path, I can attest that depression during grief can be oppressive and burdensome, yet it is a necessary step to take in the healing journey.
Read more...Discovering joy through music has been a constant thread throughout my life. From the moment I first sat down at a piano, I knew I had found my passion. Over the years, music has provided solace, comfort, and a sense of purpose. And when tragedy struck and I found myself as a widow with young children, music became a comfort.
My first piano teacher nurtured my love for playing the piano. She was kind, patient and set high expectations that she knew I could meet. She encouraged me to play in church at a young age, which began a love for being a church pianist.
In high school, I joined the choir. My music teacher saw potential that I didn’t see and encouraged me to audition for the Chamber Singers, local and state competitions, and eventually colleges. He gave me the opportunity to accompany many of the choirs in our school, and my love for doing music every day multiplied. It was also during high school that I started teaching piano lessons, and found I loved it!
Read more...The first Christmas after the loss of a spouse can be an overwhelming and bittersweet experience, especially when you are left with small children to care for. It is during this time of year, cherished for its joy and togetherness, that the absence of your beloved spouse is deeply felt. As someone who has walked this journey, I want to extend my heartfelt compassion and share some insights on how to navigate the emotions and find hope during this challenging time.
Read more...Life can be overwhelming at times, especially around the holidays. There are expectations that we put on ourselves or others put on us, and it can be a lot.
Right after my husband passed away, I had to pull back from many things, as I didn’t have the capacity to handle very much. Life was overwhelming and exhausting, and we were in survival mode.
As time passed and the Lord has brought healing to my heart, I have added activities and events back in. But sometimes, I overestimate what I am able to do and truly enjoy. When I start feeling the stress build, and it begins affecting my heart and health, I know it’s time to step back.
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