As a widow, grief is something with which I am very well acquainted. My journey has been up and down, in and out of each of the five stages of grief several times over. I might go through one stage and onto the next, only to backtrack to the previous one. At times I felt my grieving was coming to an end, only to find I was back at square one after a difficult season of life. It’s been messy and often confusing. One thing I have learned through it all is that it takes time. There’s no shortcut with grief.
I have been delaying writing a series on the topic of grief because I wanted to make sure I had enough information and said things the right way. But the Lord has reminded me why He wanted me to start this blog in the first place. It’s to share my story to help other widows, not to have the perfect words. So this series, along with the rest of the blog, will be flawed, but I pray it is beneficial.
Read more...“It’s okay to not be okay, but it’s not okay to give up.” - Unknown
This quote resonates deeply with me as a young widow. Society often misunderstands how to support and treat widows. There is a quickness to judge, and a rush to say “get over it”, or “it’s been long enough. Isn’t it time to move on?” This insensitivity makes it seem as if it’s not okay to not be okay, but the truth is, it IS okay.
No matter how long you’ve been on this grief journey, it’s important to remember that sadness and grief can sneak up on you at different points. You can feel like things are going well, and you are managing your emotions well, and then something will come out of the blue and wreck you. It’s okay. It’s completely normal.
Read more...In this third blog post of my financial journey as a young widow, I want to share one of the best pieces of advice I received when Jon and I were anticipating getting married. Our mentors at the time said, “Get life insurance. No matter how tight the budget is, make it a priority. Life can change in an instant, and you want to be prepared as much as possible.”
I had no idea that the advice given to two young college students would have such an impact on our lives.
Life Insurance
Jon and I got life insurance a few years after we were married, shortly after our first child was born, and since we were young and healthy, it was pretty inexpensive. Some months it seemed like a chore to continue to pay it, but we remembered the advice we were given and kept our policies.
Read more...As a widow with small kids, finances were a big concern. There are so many things that go into running a household, as I am sure you are aware - the mortgage, utilities, food, gas, car maintenance, and the list goes on. I had never been fully responsible for any of this, and while I had worked in several different professions, I had been out of the work force since my kids were born.
Social Security Survivor Benefits
One of the first things I did after Jon passed was to contact my local Social Security office to see if the kids and I qualified for Survivor Benefits. This program is in place to help widows with young kids make ends meet. There are certain qualifications and income limits, so you’ll want to go to your local Social Security office to get more specifics.
Read more...Losing Jon was a heart-wrenching experience, and I was overwhelmed when I thought about life without him. I was trying to grapple with his death, plan a funeral and burial, and was suddenly plunged into single parenting. I was also now the sole provider for my family, and there were so many unanswered questions:
- How was I going to make ends meet?
- Would I have to get a job and put my kids in school?
- Would I lose my dream of homeschooling my kids?
- What kind of work would I be able to find that would provide enough income?
