Denial
Grief is a complex process and all of us will experience it at some point in our lives. There are five basic stages of grief, and the first stage is denial. Simply put, denial is refusing to believe what actually happened. It’s the feeling of “this can’t be happening”. While you may understand it happened, in your heart you may not fully grasp it.
Denial is different then not understanding the loss you just experienced. It's a mental buffer, providing us with an emotional grace period to slowly absorb and process what has happened. In the immediate aftermath of a loved one’s death, the full weight of the grief might be too much to bear. Denial helps us by pacing the reality of the situation, allowing us to take on only as much as we can handle initially.
As a widow, grief is something with which I am very well acquainted. My journey has been up and down, in and out of each of the five stages of grief several times over. I might go through one stage and onto the next, only to backtrack to the previous one. At times I felt my grieving was coming to an end, only to find I was back at square one after a difficult season of life. It’s been messy and often confusing. One thing I have learned through it all is that it takes time. There’s no shortcut with grief.
I have been delaying writing a series on the topic of grief because I wanted to make sure I had enough information and said things the right way. But the Lord has reminded me why He wanted me to start this blog in the first place. It’s to share my story to help other widows, not to have the perfect words. So this series, along with the rest of the blog, will be flawed, but I pray it is beneficial.
Read more...After losing my husband to cancer, my quest to pursue wellness for myself and my young kids was very important to me. I wanted to do what I could to use non toxic products in my home that didn’t burden our bodies unnecessarily. I am the gatekeeper of my home, so what comes in is generally because I have allowed it.
Toxins can be hidden in the most unexpected places, and I was surprised to learn that the things I was using to make my house smell good could be dangerous.
Candles, Air Fresheners, Plug-ins, Oh My!
I love the smell and the ambiance they give. I used to burn candles all the time and have an air freshener in the bathroom. I would look for a sale on my favorite scents, so I would never run out. As I learned more about a non toxic lifestyle, I was alarmed to realize I was using products that were harmful to our health.
Read more...“It’s okay to not be okay, but it’s not okay to give up.” - Unknown
This quote resonates deeply with me as a young widow. Society often misunderstands how to support and treat widows. There is a quickness to judge, and a rush to say “get over it”, or “it’s been long enough. Isn’t it time to move on?” This insensitivity makes it seem as if it’s not okay to not be okay, but the truth is, it IS okay.
No matter how long you’ve been on this grief journey, it’s important to remember that sadness and grief can sneak up on you at different points. You can feel like things are going well, and you are managing your emotions well, and then something will come out of the blue and wreck you. It’s okay. It’s completely normal.
Read more...Sticking to a budget can be challenging as a young widow. There are many expenses that we have no control over, but the grocery budget is one area that I found I can bring my monthly expenses down. I have control over what I buy, and when meal planning is applied, it can make such a difference in this area. Today I am sharing three easy, versatile, kid friendly recipes that are easy on the budget.
Black Bean Soup
2 16 oz. cans black beans, rinsed and drained
1 ½ c. chicken broth
1 c. chunky salsa
1 tsp. ground cumin
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